christianstt
New member
I would be using the family link control to switch off the phone.
Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?
- Thread starter jjoseph
- Start date
I assume the older ones at least are on a contract phone, likely in your name and paid for by you? If so call the phone company and have them put a temporary bar on the phones. Then call a meeting, set out your expectations and a rota and tell them that their phones will not be unblocked until they agree to and start helping out.
When they are all school go into their rooms and remove game controllers and remotes and they only get them back once they have done a set chore.
Have a visual chore board up in the kitchen so everyone knows what is expected from that and on what day.
Mine are aware that I pay for the phones therefore they are my phones that I allow them to use. And that privilege can be removed at anytime.
Mine are also lazy at doing chores and constantly say I will in 5 minutes. I’m flexible and allow them that 5 minutes rest before they start. Like you recognise, we all get overwhelmed sometimes and don’t always respond well to immediate demands being put on us. So I say that’s ok, have 5 minutes chill and then get yours jobs done. After 5 minutes if they are still reluctant distractions like phones are taken until job is completed.
Mine are 13 and 10 and are expected to tidy their rooms, put their own laundry away, set the table, clear up after meals etc.
When they are all school go into their rooms and remove game controllers and remotes and they only get them back once they have done a set chore.
Have a visual chore board up in the kitchen so everyone knows what is expected from that and on what day.
Mine are aware that I pay for the phones therefore they are my phones that I allow them to use. And that privilege can be removed at anytime.
Mine are also lazy at doing chores and constantly say I will in 5 minutes. I’m flexible and allow them that 5 minutes rest before they start. Like you recognise, we all get overwhelmed sometimes and don’t always respond well to immediate demands being put on us. So I say that’s ok, have 5 minutes chill and then get yours jobs done. After 5 minutes if they are still reluctant distractions like phones are taken until job is completed.
Mine are 13 and 10 and are expected to tidy their rooms, put their own laundry away, set the table, clear up after meals etc.
estherisrael
New member
Cancel their phone contracts 
vox_nihili
New member
do the 15 minute:
anyone can call for 15 minutes.
during that time everyone does 15 minutes tidying in a communal area. they chose what they do - it can be anything. put the kettle on at the start. when 15 minutes is up all sit down together with a drink and a biscuit or fruit or whatever and celebrate the fact that you have a much tidier house as a team effort. you also get family time and a chance to talk about the day. it’s a win win
anyone can call for 15 minutes.
during that time everyone does 15 minutes tidying in a communal area. they chose what they do - it can be anything. put the kettle on at the start. when 15 minutes is up all sit down together with a drink and a biscuit or fruit or whatever and celebrate the fact that you have a much tidier house as a team effort. you also get family time and a chance to talk about the day. it’s a win win
melissa569
New member
@vox_nihili love that!
Mine are 19 & 15 when they were a little younger I use to remove the chargers to there gadgets that way they would still play until it died then they could do chores and get one lead back now they are older 1 works he still does things like clear the table, dishwasher etc
The younger one is autistic but still does things around the house
The younger one is autistic but still does things around the house
formeratheist
New member
Check out The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. The name is misleading. Kids don’t have to be explosive for it to help. It will explain why punishments don’t work and give you tools that actually will
@frances28 that's it! Boys are coming to Boot camp Kim for the Summer! 
Xxx
XxxI've got the Family Link app set up on my son's phone, so I can turn his phone completely off at any time, and he can't get it back on until I unlock it. This is the only way I've found that works to stop the back chat and refusal to do things I've asked. For bad behaviour sometimes phone will stay off for a few days, or up to a week if he has done something really out of line. I also sometimes remove XBox controllers, TV remote and Chromebook too if I feel it is warranted.
lemontart68
New member
@lemontart68 My son's life revolves around his phone and other tech gadgets, so works a treat for us x
lemontart68
New member
My daughter is more hair and nails but take them away and it's major meltdown, all about fitting into school,looking good,avoid the bullies in her eyes.. take school out the the equation and she is barely any issue
chuckchappell22
New member
lemontart68
New member
Put family link on their phones,you can lock and unlock their phones from where ever you are,until chores ect, are completed. Harsh I know but ita part of life,things have to be done. Or alternatively spend more time with them, try rebuild that connection with them before are correction comes into play other wise without respect it is just seen as punishment 
going through similar myself, tried the removal or objects and put more boundaries In place,we fellnout more,didn't work so now trying more relationship building,better active listening and it's working. Although hard some days,she is very testing. Feels as though I am letting her off lightly this way.... but relationship is key xx
going through similar myself, tried the removal or objects and put more boundaries In place,we fellnout more,didn't work so now trying more relationship building,better active listening and it's working. Although hard some days,she is very testing. Feels as though I am letting her off lightly this way.... but relationship is key xx