Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

[aptay10r]

I have kids exactly the same age as yours plus a 7 and 2yr old and my god I completely get where your coming from!! There’s just no need for laziness it drives me mad!!

 

[fstone58]

Have a meeting, no shouting, accusations etc. Maybe set up a family plan, as their help in setting it up, what responsibilities they'd like, do they feel any rewards/consequences are appropriate.
Ask them why they're struggling, anything you can do to make things easier?
Can they do their own washing, drying and ironing?

 

[frank613]

Just take their phones off them, they're a huge problem now, even for us they make us procrastinate, so it'll be even harder with all those hormones! They'll do whatever they can to get them back because they're addicted

 

[meginomai]

Who's paying for the devices they have data on? I presume you. That's how you stop internet access. Bag their shit up and bin it . It's your house, pull rank

 

[terraincognita]

Have the same issues again I have mental health and leave it just for peace otherwise I get myself in a state and have panic attacks

 

[snorks4lyfe]

Take their chargers!

 

[aphan]

No advice. But my 17& 15 &9 year old the same. Not brought up this way. I do have family link for the 15 year old & 9 year old slightly easier to sort. It's hard work. I also can't do mess, it stresse me out massively.

 

[corush254]

I Feel your pain the same in my house I have a 19 14 12 and 8 year old it’s hard work

 

[lisabet]

Have you tried a heart to heart about how you are struggling?

 

[mort_rainey]

I was totally this teenager
Happily by the time I was 18/19 I grew out of it.
There’s light at the end of that there dark dark tunnel

 

[fbgnbh03]

I've found boosting their self-esteem helps. I'm grateful when they help and point out how useful they are being and how we value their contributing to the house (and I really mean it!). When we are both out at the office my teenage sons cook us all dinner and take it really seriously. We are pretty open with them too and have realistic discussions around money and earnings etc so they can see how the world works and have an idea of the scary changes that we are all coping with at the moment. I feel like making them part of our unit and all contributing together, rather than on the outside and being punished works best. I'm not an expert though!

 

[kka07]

@nina_agape taking the router to work in your handbag

 

[samijoy4]

At there age they should no better. Real simple solution when they are out bag up there entire rooms minus a bed and a couple of outfits.
Strip your cupboards bare of anything that is a treat. Leave each person a cup, one plate, one bowl and one set of cutlery.
Turn off the phone contracts all together.
Then let them know what you expect moving forward. Do not give in, do not feel sorry for them.

 

[thomasmoreorless]

Firstly you aren't alone. We all nag our children to not be lazy, yet they still are.
Write a list of things that you expect to be done.
Call a family meeting or talk to them individually if that will work best.
Stay very calm no shouting and almost act like you don't care.
You ask them to help and these are what you would like to be done.
If its not done then privileges will be taken.
Loss of phone chargers. Phones. Internet. Mobile plans will be reduces. No friends. No snacks. No money. You Taylor it to your house.
They will soon get bored of not having things they want.
Don't nag them give them the choice and suggestions. Everything in life has a consequence make them see that. Eat when you like what you like, kitchen has a lock put on it or all snack food is taken out so basics are left.
You have this and good luck.

 

[globalspotless]

I’m in the same boat , but the biggest problem one is my middle daughter who is 21 , partying throughout the week to all hours , comes home and wakes the 15 year old who she has to share a room with , she leaves the house an absolute tip , food and clothes everywhere, no respect , then the 15 year old will give me backchat and serious mood swings, I thought kids were supposed to get easier the older they got …. Absolute nightmare

 

[aronda75]

just a bed in the room, goodbye to everything else.

 

[pika25]

I have a 12yr old who leaves plates, cups and rubbish in her room. I brought her a bin and she's starting 2 use it. She likes to have friends over and the rule is if room is tidy then yes. She's starting 2 keep it tidy. The cups on then other hand sometimes there's several there b4 she brings them down

 

[shardul007]

Just to let you know you aren’t alone and I feel your pain 14 year old and 7 year old. The 7 year old helps out more

 

[eugeniokano]

Freeze the mobile contract. Wont have any data then. Once they do enough around the house then unfreeze it.

 

[marthaanne]

Bm bags all outside if they don't pick their things up. I'm constantly saying the same thing. I've twin girls at 13 I feel your pain x