Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

[misstff]

You say they weren't brought up this way .are you sure ? As in , was there expectations /level of responsibility when younger ? I guess a bit like a partner you have expectations of behaviour. It's not talked about its expected. Usually if a partner is 'lazy ' it's because we have lower expectations of them . Could you restart . At dinner give each child their own responsibility . If they know what's expected they are more likely to do it as in one is responsible for emptying the dish washer . One is responsible for emptying bins . That way its also visual so they know when it's needed to be done definitely smaller steps . Good luck

 

[laurine]

Ask for their help, make them feel like they're grown up. Ask them to do specific things rather than generalising "tidy" when they've finished eating, ask them to wash their pots. If it doesn't work, warn them that anything they leave behind will be put on their beds and follow through. OR just have one plate, one bowl, one glass, one mug, one fork, one spoon, one knife for everyone and if they want feeding then they need to wash their own stuff. And for wash their clothes, f they want clean clothes then they need to put them in the basket etc. X

 

[nb3k]

I’m sorry but they are your kids! You are the parent! Take their shit away! Tell them they have to help or else. No privileges, no pocket money! My kids are 18 15 12 & 7 and there’s no way I would let them get away with it

 

[leonidad]

Confiscating/disabling the phone/devices is all that works in my house. She's an absolute delight without them.

 

[bryan2033]

Recruit the oldest to do housework together with you. Reason - they are old enough to live on their own or they properly contribute, so tell them your rules. Tell the 15 year old they are next. It will be 3-4 of you to deal with the rest of them, should be easier to instill some discipline then

 

[susansandiego]

I take thier phones
- write a weekly list on a stick in on thier bedroom doors. Jobs separated into daily tasks.
The tick them off. I give their phones back.
2 x 17 year olds and 13 year old.

 

[kaylai]

Are you paying for their mobile phone contracts, if so cancel them or stop data. Take every device they have and put them in a locked box. Do they have nice clothes and shoes? If so take them away. If they get pocket money, stop giving them it.
Your being a doormat. Get tough and good luck xx

 

[pshahm]

It's a never ending battle. I have to be standing there while they do it for them to complete it.

 

[college_guy]

Sit them down and let them know how disgusting their behaviour is. Then let them know that until they learn how to treat you with respect and clean up after themselves, they won't have phones or internet. The end.

 

[whitherwhist]

Please remove there phone for your own sanity my 18 year old had phone taken from them for 2.5 years was the best thing ever my 11 doesn't have a phone at the moment and she a different child. Sit them all down and have a calm conversation. Remember your the parent your house your rules good luck explain that everything is overwhelming you they will understand and Remember you was a child once aswell x

 

[danaomic]

Put them up for adoption

 

[huanjo]

@danaomic she's going to sell them on etsy

 

[danaomic]

@huanjo I told my girl she was going on E Bay lol

 

[jmaths117]

I've got 23 20 n 15 Yr old they all girls and they are lazy maybe once in a while ill get something done out of them but I've just cleared my living rm n kitchen over two days and I'm on their backs constantly to put their crap away now I even got a carrier bag for each of them n put their bits n bobs lying round living rm in them n made em take em up stairs one plate bit of clothing shoes anything I tell em once if not gone it's goin bin lol

 

[ncfjj]

F

 

[olatolek]

My child (14, 11, 7) can have a pit for a room. That's their space. Theyre not allowed food in there so its just toys and clothes. The kitchen bathroom and front room need to be tidy so I can clean them, if they leave stuff it's put in a "f#ck it bucket" and they have 48 hours to claim it or I throw it away. Only took a week of them rooting through the bin to follow the rules.

 

[saba]

Get a black bag and give them one chance to move or it’s goes in the rubbish

 

[amazingjordan]

Take devices,tv ect no treats till they earn them....don't cook wash their clothes ,good luck xxx

 

[apphia]

Sit down and talk to them and tell them how frustrated you are. Ask them how they think they can help to take the pressure off. If it’s their idea it might work…. Teenagers are generally quite selfish, we all were I’m sure. They probably have no idea of the impact on you xx

 

[lolad]

I have tried so many different things with mine over the years. They rarely help out without being asked but if you ask they don't want to help anymore I have a jobs list on a white board on the fridge, I mark off who has done what and when I get a full house I make a big deal about it oddly enough sabotaging my full house became a priority for a while and they took great pleasure in doing things to make sure I hadn't 'done everything'. The difficultly I find is things are short lived, the dynamic in the house changes so frequently as they are all going through different phases. Over the last 3/4 years we've had two finish high school, one completed college one dropped out and got a job, the eldest now works full time the second eldest moved out to his girlfriends and then the middle one has gone from primary to high school and all that entails and the two youngest are not little anymore. For me, adapting my expectations to fit with what they had going on (exam study, work shifts) has been the hardest part. Also you have less clout with punishments, however I still pay their phone bills and can ilyse the 'gift data' function to take away all of their data. Not used it yet but the threat still works