Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

[ekow]

@andyjlovatodimasallajesus oh she was!!!!! X

 

[robbeef]

@ekow, now this I love.

 

[bobfox]

Call a family meeting raise the issues and tell them what you expect.
No one goes anywhere until jobs are done.
Phones are put away until
Jobs are done (take them whilst they sleep if you have to!)

 

[skasyan]

Also, are there things you could do to make things easier? For example, I used to get so annoyed with my children leaving their coat/bag/lunch box all over the floor when they got home from school (which, to be fair, is exactly what I used to do at their age!! ) My husband came up with the idea of them both having a box under the desk (like an Ikea box for storage). It's made such a difference because they put the stuff in there and it feels soooo much tidier!!! Xx

 

[bigeee]

Put family link on their phones and turn them off by yours!!

 

[wheel31]

Have a family meeting - explain expectations clearly, explain the affect on you - listen to them as well, draw up a rota. Have defined boundaries - communal areas have to be kept cleaned up - their pits - they can live in their own squalor, my rule is if it belongs in the kitchen then it gets returned to the kitchen - if I have to retrieve it the I'll take bin bags to plough through their mess to get to my stuff and their stuff goes out - the bags will be next to the bin if they don't sort it the binman can have it...
No chores done = no pocket money/extras
Who pays for their phones to access data? Withdraw that privilige - stick them on pay as you go - no chores - no payment
Go on strike - don't do their washing, if it's their mess - chuck on their bed and close the door.

 

[negr]

Start plating their food on their dirty plates, making cuppas in their dirty cups. if they moan, say this is why you need to clean up after yourselves… any clothing/items they leave laying around bag up and put into storage somewhere in the house… they’ll soon catch on they they to need to help within the household…
Or you could itemise everything you are doing, and bill them.. ie cleaning costs, washing g costs, electricity cost, gas costs rent etc.. (( it comes off their allowance/ device time/ treats..)) if they wanna live in your home without helping keep it tidy, then they got to pay their way.. got to be mean to get teens to pull their socks up.
Hopefully you get sorted and all is great in the house again. )
It’s best to tidy as you go, that way nothing is to overwhelming/hard then..

 

[elliot44]

@negrThis is a great idea. Playing food on dirty dishes particularly!

 

[wt15]

I used to take fuse out of the plugs on their tvs and take all phone chargers....once I even reported eldest ones phone lost so the provider temporarily blocked the sim card!! Worked a treat

 

[merelychristian]

I feel your pain I've just said to mine I am kidnapping her phone now for half an hour for each lot of mess she leaves laying around. I've tried all the nice ways and now I'm being brutal - she's agreed it. Tbf we've had many conversations and it's unintentional, she just doesn't see the mess in the same way and totally gets my point when we talk about it, then does exactly the same again! It's a phase but needs a bit of tough love, understanding and consistency

 

[madhavikalekar]

Who pays for Their data? Cancel it. I assume u do? Stop buying them things, make them earn what they have, no fancy trainers, clothes etc until they respect what they have and do!

 

[davidandrew23]

Who pays for the mobile data? Stop if its you. No Internet at all.

 

[eb44345]

Cancel thier phone contracts and use the money to hire a cleaner!

 

[terry1]

Stop paying for their phones, I presume with their ages you're paying it all. Tell them once they start helping out and respecting the house they can earn it back, a phone is a privilege not a necessity.

 

[karenkong1]

Cancel there contract on there phones , you got a tent ? And a garden let them sleep outside in pissing rain , I resorted to using paper plates but waited until the family were around xx

 

[jc42]

I would put a block on their phones

 

[blessings8190]

At least now you know you're not alone lol Teens don't respond well to nagging - obvious consequences is where it's at. They'll push the boundaries all the time and it's exhausting but when you remember they are kids and you're in charge you will realise you can gain control (not without a fair amount of - 'this is so unfair' and 'I hate you' - they love you really lol)

 

[eknd]

This sounds like my house mine are 18,15,13 and 10 it’s really starting to get me down I also have my 22 year old and fiancé 21 year old living with us who do do they bit but both work as well as me and my other half it’s a nightmare isn’t it xx

 

[enigma3973]

We have exactly the same problem. We’ve tried all these taking things away, nothing works
We’ve recently introduced counters, they earn counters for being good and helpful. Surprisingly it seems to be working even with my 15 and 13 year old
Earning things is always more psychologically useful than having things taken away

 

[jerrhhhhli]

Mine are almost 12 and 14 and heading this way although they still get in order when I loose it but takes for me to go off my nut for them to listen. They don't respect the house at all which drives me mad! They haven't been brought up messy! Lol