Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?
- Thread starter jjoseph
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scofie1988
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scofie1988
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consecrateme
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All my children’s phone are on my phone and I can turn there screen time off in a second and that’s my go to with my children but failing that cut there phones data down or cancel completely until they start respecting you more. I haven’t had to do it for many years only the threat is enough now with screen time At least for you that can be a start.
Being consistent with punishments is a must so they know what you say you mean.
Teenagers challenge you and to have the respect you need to show them who’s boss. Stop doing there clothes washing for them (except your 9yo) they are old enough to be able to do there own and if they don’t respect you they don’t deserve you doing it for them. It’s hard I have a 7, 14 & 16 yo but they all have a job a day to do to help towards the house they live in, they also put there own clothes away and keep there bedroom tidy and the rule is if there bedrooms aren’t tidy they aren’t allowed any friends in and that keeps them on top of it as my 14 yo son often asks for his friends to come round.
Keep going mumma you’ve got this xx
Being consistent with punishments is a must so they know what you say you mean.
Teenagers challenge you and to have the respect you need to show them who’s boss. Stop doing there clothes washing for them (except your 9yo) they are old enough to be able to do there own and if they don’t respect you they don’t deserve you doing it for them. It’s hard I have a 7, 14 & 16 yo but they all have a job a day to do to help towards the house they live in, they also put there own clothes away and keep there bedroom tidy and the rule is if there bedrooms aren’t tidy they aren’t allowed any friends in and that keeps them on top of it as my 14 yo son often asks for his friends to come round.
Keep going mumma you’ve got this xx
craziichick
New member
If you pay for their phone stop. If it’s a contract that you can’t get out of reduce it to the minimum plan so they have minimal data. If any of them leave their phones at home during school hours or anything then when you get the chance to get hold of the phone take it and confiscate it somewhere they won’t find it. Personally the ones of ages that go out with mates if they want clean clothes to be going out until they start to pull their weight I wouldn’t be doing their washing. Why should it all fall to you? People might think I’m harsh and that your the parent and that one day they’ll leave home and the house will be quite but that doesn’t help the situation right now. Why should your home be disrespected just because they can’t be bothered and don’t want to listen? They’ll be arguing and moaning of phones games consoles etc are taken away but their the type of things they earn and no respect for you means none of those things, their not playing the electric bill to run those things 
not saying at all that it will but what are they gonna do when their older and find a partner, expect them to run round after them. Good luck and don’t beat yourself up about it!! Xx
not saying at all that it will but what are they gonna do when their older and find a partner, expect them to run round after them. Good luck and don’t beat yourself up about it!! Xx@craziichick 
I was doing my own washing, ironing, helping with housework etc at like 13/14!! Not going to lie, I didn't enjoy it then as a moody teen 
but when I moved out at 18 I was a fully functioning adult, when a LOT of my peers still relied on their parents for EVERYTHING! Gave me a lot of respect and admiration for how the hell my mum kept a household of 5 people plus her childminding children and 2 dogs, clean and functioning all the time because even now i go through phases of letting it all slip and there's just 2 of us and a dog 
I was doing my own washing, ironing, helping with housework etc at like 13/14!! Not going to lie, I didn't enjoy it then as a moody teen but when I moved out at 18 I was a fully functioning adult, when a LOT of my peers still relied on their parents for EVERYTHING! Gave me a lot of respect and admiration for how the hell my mum kept a household of 5 people plus her childminding children and 2 dogs, clean and functioning all the time because even now i go through phases of letting it all slip and there's just 2 of us and a dog craziichick
New member
@bishopap1 it’s hard work isn’t it!! And as much a teenagers won’t like to do those things no adult really enjoys it either! My 6 year old makes her own bed in a morning and my 10 year old is responsible for his room, making sure his clothes are in the wash basket and stuff like that, I just draw the line at pot washing cos I like to know their properly clean 
xxx
xxx@craziichick honestly with and 8 hour work day and 2.5hr daily total commute by the time I get home I want to eat and crawl into bed so either have a weekend doing something fun and actually enjoying my life or spending it getting the house straight again the never ending story should really have been about housework 
so either have a weekend doing something fun and actually enjoying my life or spending it getting the house straight again the never ending story should really have been about housework craziichick
New member
@bishopap1 I agree! Me and hubby have 5 kids between us and the weekends their all with us togeather I give up with housework! Xx
I think there are ways to make your life easier. Laundered clothes go straight into a ‘bag for life’ and the kids sorts theirs and put away, oldest to youngest. This way the younger kids keep going into the older kids rooms for their clothes and being a nuisance till everyone has their own stuff. One bag for husband and he puts his away too. (I wash my stuff separately as I’m the only one allergic to biological). Pay one kid to do the chores - hoovering and bathrooms. Pay well and that kid will yell at the others for making the mess they end up cleaning up.
Bet they don't argue, laugh at you or ignore you when they want something done for them , turn the tables ignore requests of anything more than their basic care and stop mobile data and turn off the internet, when they kick off explain in a calm manner, because of their own disrespect and behaviour they no longer have privileges until they learn to take part as a family and have respect for you. Good luck
Our rule with phones is that if I ask for their phone they have to give it up… if not I cancel their contract or they pay for it themselves! They know it’s more to protect them from online bullying than anything though so it’s got their benefit! They also aren’t supposed to be on tech (unless homework is online) til 6pm and they are given chores that if they don’t do they lose time on devices! They are 15 and 12 and I’m their parent, not their mate! They know this and we all get along great!
gildagloria
New member
There is always something that you can remove or stop them going to, that will make them do it. I don’t usually have to resort to removing my sons phone as there will be a party or something that week that he wants to go to. And I don’t do his washing if it’s on his bedroom floor x
sunsetstation
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The Teenage Guide to Stress
A few responses “This book is a must-read for all teenagers but also for those who work with young people or are parents of teenagers. It will put your mind at rest and help you understand yo…
nicolamorgan.com
Understanding adolescents and brain development is key.
Connection and relationships are so important.
Talk to them about how it makes you feel and appeal to their empathy, presuming they have some.
Teenagers are not mini adults