i_love_esther
New member
@beachenviron I believe so, and so far so good. X
Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?
- Thread starter jjoseph
- Start date
I am a single working mother to 3 daughters aged 14,15 and 16. One of my daughters has life changing health conditions, and one with ASD. But I’m thankful we all pitch in together in our home. Because it’s not my house, it’s our home, we all work together to respect that. 8 hands to clean, tidy is far quicker than my own two hands. And overtime they realise to clean up after themselves.. but my kids have been helping keep our home tidy since they where tots. I don’t have much in the way of expensive tech to remove as punishment, but it’s just about respect to one another and our family home that we all have to live in.. it’s not a chore, it’s a choice..
i_love_esther
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organicjello
New member
Much of this advice is suggesting punishments, it is well meant but does not help you. The best advice suggests explaining to your children what your expectations are. As part of that, you can explain what the consequences will be if expectations are not met but it is the expectations themselves that need to be discussed with your children. It takes time and patience to reinforce good behaviour, though. There will be good days and bad days. It sounds as though your life is hectic and stressful, children do not understand this and it is hard for them to do so. You need to step back from your feelings of resentment (they are perfectly valid but make objectivity hard). Your children are not trying to make you suffer, they just want an easy life. Good luck with it all. It’s tough but you will get through it.
You need to put your foot down it sounds like they have 0 respect for you if you make a threat stick to it I would literally take everything from them and they would be earning it back if they refuse to give you there phones I'd take everything else from them bedroom tvs make up any electronics no going out grounded to there bedroom they see you as a push over show them your not might sound strict but kids are just getting worse these days and they need to learn goodluck
Let's face it.... they aren't small babies they are all old enough to know better and the 3 TEENS are old enough to pick up after themselves personally I'd be taking it ALL away every last thing or they would lose top ups/contracts family link would be going on their phone and phones would be locked
ichbinhumanoid
New member
I actually found that shouting never worked, I spoke once in a reasonable voice, if it didn't get done, I took away something they valued. No shouting or yelling, I just walked into their room and took it and locked it away in the cupboard eg a favorite shirt or shoes and if really necessary their charger cables. Then I just did what I had asked them to do myself. To earn back their confiscated item, they would need to apologize and do chores. If they decided to try and get into a screaming match, I just ignored them and continued what I was doing, it's not easy and you need to learn patience, lots of it. If by the end of 10 days, the item hadn't been earned back, I gave it to charity or threw it away, while there was a confiscated item in the cupboard, no money was given for anything they needed, not for school, not for outings with friends, etc, they soon learned. Good luck
nonbeleiver09
New member
Did I subconsciously write this this is me even down to the not being able to tolerate too much mess but i have a 16 yr old son 10 yr old daughter shes doing that learned behaviour thing and is actually worse than him I literally have no answer except count down the days till they leave home I'm desperate for a holiday but refuse to be cinderwlla without the fairy god mother in another country ending up in a foreign prison is not my idea of fun 
we should start up a neglected and taken advantage of mums group we would have millions of members in the first hour
we should start up a neglected and taken advantage of mums group we would have millions of members in the first hour one_in_christ
New member
I would sit down and have a genuine conversation. Explain that you would like some help and want to work as a team with them. Let them get involved maybe introduce the organised mom method to housework and start with the 30 minute timer, everyone works in the same room until the jobs are done then move to the next if there is time. If not then tomorrow is another room until eventually it is all done. Include their rooms in the rotation which means you and dad just do high traffic areas for an extra 30 mins per day. The chances are they won't want help and will do their own rooms for you. From this 30 minutes being built into your routine I would then build in another step of who's favourite tea during the week. So one day each week they have their favourite tea but whoevers favourite it is they have to help cook and wash the cookware as you go. Then ask the others to wash their own plates and put them away. Make small changes which are helpful but won't cause too much resentment and every step of the way, make a big fuss of them helping saying the obvious things like oh I'm glad you helped it means I now have time for a bath/to iron/ to fetch you a treat, eventually they will understand the need for teamwork and it will come more naturally. Hope it gets better soon for you xx
Take there phones, I don’t mean to be harsh when I say this but take there phones let them moan groan, head wobble they have to learn, its hard my teenager is a totally different person when she don’t have her phone and she actually listens, don’t feel bad or let them make you feel bad you’ve just got to stick to your guns as my mum says xx
@eddiec593 love this!
paingiverchris
New member
@eddiec593 love this!
@eddiec593 hahaha I love this, got to try it 
