Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?
- Thread starter jjoseph
- Start date
thesectarian
New member
I'm so sorry that you have found yourself in this situation. The building blocks for creating our teenagers come from their childhood training and as you have said, some of those days were more tricky.
Therefore, I would suggest, like others, a family meeting where there is a full and frank discussion about family life and expectations of everyone. Most teenagers love their phones so I would look at changing their contracts and them earning their data. My son (because it was a cheap SIM only contract) has unlimited texts and calls but not data. When we have needed to remind him of the importance of him playing an active part in family life we have used earning data to motivate him. Many contracts allow the contract owner to gift data and move it around. This might be a currency you could use instead of money to motivate them alongside cutting off access to the WiFi. It's hard initially being consistent with the rewards and more punitive elements but with time it will work. Remember to stay calm and to seek a restorative conversation where a reminder of the rules made together is focused upon.
You've got this and don't be afraid to speak to the other adults that are involved with your children. Schools (especially primary) can provide some support too.
Therefore, I would suggest, like others, a family meeting where there is a full and frank discussion about family life and expectations of everyone. Most teenagers love their phones so I would look at changing their contracts and them earning their data. My son (because it was a cheap SIM only contract) has unlimited texts and calls but not data. When we have needed to remind him of the importance of him playing an active part in family life we have used earning data to motivate him. Many contracts allow the contract owner to gift data and move it around. This might be a currency you could use instead of money to motivate them alongside cutting off access to the WiFi. It's hard initially being consistent with the rewards and more punitive elements but with time it will work. Remember to stay calm and to seek a restorative conversation where a reminder of the rules made together is focused upon.
You've got this and don't be afraid to speak to the other adults that are involved with your children. Schools (especially primary) can provide some support too.
ashleighny2016
New member
Phone up the mobile phone provider and say the phone is lost, could they put a temporary freeze on it
pgardner31
New member
die2self365
New member
@pgardner31 I’m feeling ya x
bongda365v1
New member
Same here with my 15 and 9 year old 
zroskinofa
New member
My mum actually helped me a lot in the long run, I've only got a two year old but she used to say anything that's left on the floor by a certain time, she'd throw everything that was on the floor and not tidied up 'in the bin' but my toys and things she ended up putting in the attic when I wasnt home, might be worth trying... now I've got my own place, I hate it being messy and I'm a bit like you in the sense of i cant be in too much mess otherwise i get really stressed and cant handle it, my home isnt the cleanest or completely tidy, but I feel a lot better when everything is in it's right place xx
traveler72
New member
First off, who is paying for their phones? You can accomplish a lot by controlling their phones without actually taking them away.
ryanjameskirby
New member
Before you do anything drastic, put all your precious stuff, phone, charger, purse etc in a safe or put a lock on your bedroom door where it all is.
Then replace all their chargers with Nokia 3310 chargers and tell them they can only have those phones or similar from now on till they learn some respect and pull their weight. Or get a signal blocker for the wifi/data.
If they start smashing the house up, call the police.
Then replace all their chargers with Nokia 3310 chargers and tell them they can only have those phones or similar from now on till they learn some respect and pull their weight. Or get a signal blocker for the wifi/data.
If they start smashing the house up, call the police.
christine2013
New member
Tell them that if they don’t start to behave, then you’re going to get social services involved. As soon as they ignore your threat, get a friend they don’t know to pretend to be social services to come round for an interview with the kids about re homing them due to your mental state 
.
.josephtheprotector
New member
@christine2013 She's clearly said she's already had SS involved and her children were almost taken from her twice before and she's had multiple mental breakdowns and went on parenting courses, i dont think this is the best thing to joke about.
christine2013
New member
@josephtheprotector I only replied to the original comment, no mention of it in there.
@josephtheprotector where did she say that like 
josephtheprotector
New member
josephtheprotector
New member
And talking about parenting courses