Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

[hopeful14]

@josephtheprotector I was out on my ear at 17, washing my clothes, making food for myself that I had bought with my own hard earned money! I'm sure she was fine washing some clothes were the washing machine, washing powder and softener was all provided for her

 

[josephtheprotector]

@hopeful14 Thats you though. Some 17 year olds are still emotionally immature, some still have curfews of 9pm, some are mothers, some havent been taught to wash clothes or cook, some are working full time, some are still playing with dolls, some havent even started their period yet, some are ND, some are NT, some are engaged or married, some havent even had their first kiss.

 

[joey88]

I'm on the fence about cutting the hair....though did laugh lol. They're 13 plus ...... I was cleaning the house and cooking at that age. I worked for pocket money and had a job in a shop at 13...it made me who I am today! I taught my 8 year old son to cook, use the washing machine and iron his clothes during lockdown. He's now 11...he can cook basic meals eggs/beans on toast, pasta, wraps etc....usually as a snack cos he eats like a horse. He washes his trainers and can iron when he wants something off the pile I've yet to do. He makes his bed every morning because he follows my example and keeps his room relatively tidy. He feeds the animals without being asked to. Yet he's funny, cheeky, sociable, chatty and I couldn't be more proud of him. I have played the role of mum and dad since his father died when he was 4. I have to be a fun mum as well as the disciplinarian. Respect is key and knowing when they have pushed you too far so you don't have to lose your rag. Mean what you say and follow through with your threats. I removed toys, TVs and phones over the years. If all else fails take the wifi hub out....usually works and then threaten to cancel their phone contracts.

 

[joey88]

Obviously you do more for the 9 year old but the others should be looking after the younger child too!

 

[xlaurax]

@joey88 you sound like an amazing mum and well done your son is going to grow up knowing how to respect you and others and fend for himself if he needs to. My daughter was 17 turning 18 at the time. I don't know if I would have done it if she was younger I honestly couldn't say but I haven't repeated it to my other children I removed the remotes, cables etc. Keep up the good work. May you amd your son have every success in life

 

[shakatron]

@joey88

 

[manonfire6640]

@xlaurax What on Earth? You cut your child’s hair while they slept? That and stopping necessities such as washing, feeding and cleaning is neglect/abusive.

 

[xlaurax]

@manonfire6640 17 and gone too far you have no idea but hey she laughs now and didn't repeat. It's better than beating or verbally abuse them and she had been warned. She's 21 now.

 

[manonfire6640]

@xlaurax I was 17 once so yeah I’m pretty sure I have an idea. I wouldn’t dream of doing that to a child or adult for “going too far.” No - abuse is abuse, none of it is “better.”

 

[josephtheprotector]

@xlaurax she probably laughs now because shes terrified of you and what youll do next

 

[xlaurax]

@manonfire6640 but do you? That's your call but both her look back on it now and go wow she laughs and has not affected her in anyway except to let her know I would deliver if I said something. I am not suggesting it, it's just something I did. The younger generation have this 'the world owes me' attitude and a lot of younger parents have enabled them to be like that. Too PC u this world today. My daughter is a great human now so if it's not your thing that's ok.

 

[manonfire6640]

@xlaurax Yeah, she knows you will commit ABH if you say you will. She laughs to your face but it probably really emotionally hurt her. It isn’t something to be proud of.
You can’t blame a whole generation based on your experience with your own child and you are the parent who chose to cut your child’s hair while she slept.
Not committing ABH or assault against a child doesn’t make a person “too pc.” Learn what these things actually mean. It has nothing to do with political correctness.

 

[xlaurax]

@josephtheprotector no she isn't terrified of me, we have a great relationship and shes not scared to speak her mind. Like I said she was 17 and was mad not terrified. She is 21 and has a great life.

 

[josephtheprotector]

@xlaurax im sure she tells her therapist otherwise but sure

 

[xlaurax]

@manonfire6640 no she wasn't hurt she was mad. Abuse comes in all forms and I knew there would be a few heroes on here to call me out but it's something I did when she was 17. I've not done it to my other kids. Like i started with my son removed all his remotes etc. My daughter wasn't precious like so many kids these days that are enabled by parents that allow them to be. Talk loud at child bad parent, smack on bum call the cops etc etc it goes on. We have a generation of a lot of entitled children that have no respect for their elders regardless of any action. Kids and some parents need to learn resilience otherwise we are setting them up to fail. I hope your child grows to be perfect so you will never experience any hard times.

 

[josephtheprotector]

@xlaurax her hair was precious to her and you cut it off. I guarantee she was hurt when she had to walk around feeling ashamed that her mum had assaulted her like that in her sleep.

 

[manonfire6640]

@xlaurax I’m sorry but if you come to an online page and tell everyone that you cut your child’s hair in their sleep for stepping out of line then what on Earth do you expect? It honestly baffles me how parents who use abusive tactics try to say parents who don’t abuse their kids aren’t parenting lol. Resilience is such a bs word, abuse doesn’t build resilience ffs.

 

[fidole]

@manonfire6640 trying to justify what you did by saying it’s better than a beating says it all. It’s abuse it all falls under the same category. I hope to god when/if she has children she goes the other way and doesn’t pass on your abuse to her kids. She “went too far” so you had to one up her? That’s not teaching a lesson. Vile

 

[manonfire6640]

@fidole tagged the wrong person x

 

[xlaurax]

@manonfire6640 I came on here knowing heroes like yourself would have perfect answers. I don't need to justify myself to you or anyone else. I did what I did my kids are good happy kids. I expected replies never said any different. I'm sure you're a great parent for all your comments.