Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?
- Thread starter jjoseph
- Start date
thelighttoall
New member
@josephtheprotector I agree the hair cut is extreme. But not washing their clothes and feeding them is disgusting? How. At 13 I could cook, clean and was pretty self sufficient. So being 17, and having to wash and feed yourself is not the end of the world.
@thelighttoall thank you I think so too. However extreme is beating or kicking a child out.
@josephtheprotector righto.
manonfire6640
New member
@thelighttoall Washing and feeding your children is a basic necessity. It’s fine for children to learn life skills but it shouldn’t be used as a punishment and you don’t just stop parental duties because you aren’t happy with your child. By the NSPCC guidelines this would absolutely class as neglect for young children.
manonfire6640
New member
@manonfire6640 these are teenagers that can dress, wash and feed themselves. How old are you Leeanne? 
manonfire6640
New member
@xlaurax I’m a grown adult, why? How old are you? NSPCC also stated that neglect can happen at any age. Your parental duties don’t become non-existent once a child turns into a teen. You said you used this kind of thing as a punishment ontop of cutting her hair in her sleep, it would come under neglect because of this.
pastorjeremylove
New member
@manonfire6640 while I agree cutting hair is extreme and something that would never even cross my mind, not cooking or washing for a child who can do it for themselves is far from neglect
I feel like you haven’t parented teenagers yet?
I feel like you haven’t parented teenagers yet?
@manonfire6640 u serious? She's already stated the "child" was 17 .... old enough to fecking move out 
damn right I'd stop doing shit for them if they couldn't respect my house and my rules
damn right I'd stop doing shit for them if they couldn't respect my house and my rulesmanonfire6640
New member
manonfire6640
New member
@pastorjeremylove Like I said, it’s fine to teach them life skills and have them doing these things for themselves from time to time, but not using it as a punishment is too far. She’s suggesting this to be done to not only a 16 & 15 year old but also a 13 & 9 year old. Also children with SEN.
josephtheprotector
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Its not that she wasnt cooking or washing clothes because she could do it herself, its that she stopped doing it to punish the child. After cutting the childs hair.
manonfire6640
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@josephtheprotector Exactly. And to suggest doing these things to children as young as 9 and with SEN. Ridiculous that anyone thinks that’s ok.
josephtheprotector
New member
@manonfire6640 all of my children are very well looked after. They are happy, successful in their own ways and mostly respectful, none is from fear. They know they are loved and they know when they are wrong. I would never do anything I knew my child couldn't cope with. I have never stopped being a parent. What I've suggested is my opinion and my actions. None of my children have died from it, none of them have called me an abusive mother and suffered mentally from it. Believe me they are not shy to speak their minds. I believe it all comes down to resilience and these days there is none. Have a good day Leeanne.
@manonfire6640 wrong I actually didn't see the 9yr old and I also didn't see SEN. When I wrote it was for regular teenagers who are capable.
@manonfire6640 you just have to provide clothes, food, and water - you don’t have to cook it for them at those ages. I know from a friend who was told that by social workers and police! They advised that when she wasn’t in, allow 16 year old to let themselves in via back door. Have access to fridge (basics in, no goodies), water, downstairs loo and that’s all. She had to lock up rest of the house so he couldn’t get access without her there. It worked. He realised he needed to show some respect and gain his privileges back. Now a fully functioning adult and a decent husband and father.
warriorbrideofchrist
New member
@manonfire6640 key word ...CHILD