Struggling as an Introvert: Anyone Else Feeling Lonely and Finding It Hard to Make Friends?

[marc16]

@calista I don't think medication is for me. The struggle of getting off them is Unreal and when you first go on them go on a downward spiral. I can deal with my anxiety myself if it doesn't involve interacting with big groups or been in a busy place. If my anxiety bad like today ill isolate myself ignore the knocks on door and Regulate myself and ill be ready to go again tomorrow

 

[footwear2]

@marc16 totally get that but it's definitely a shame you can't get anything 1to1 - even via zoom or something - maybe worth having another word with your GP & maybe getting on a waiting list or something? Meds work for some but not all, Therapy works for some but not all! Walking or just getting out in nature can help too (my happy place is on my own in the garden with a pair of secateurs but I'm old! ) Sending hugs & best wishes x

 

[marc16]

@footwear2 outdoors in a huge open space is my therapy definitely. It calms my anxiety and I feel like I can breathe

 

[footwear2]

@marc16 that's definitely what you need to do more of then take an umbrella & a bottle of water & your ready for anything

 

[thisismyusername123]

@marc16 with a PTA you can do as much or as little as you feel comfortable doing. Start small, reach out and offer to buy the food for their disco (claim the cash back with receipts) and it'll be an in road to knowing people. PTA are ALWAYS grateful for any help at all!
Once you've done a few bits you might want to help at the disco or Xmas fair and then you'll be flying high with people you know!

 

[marc16]

@thisismyusername123 I don't think it's me even though it does sound lovely but not for me means putting myself out there asking school to help, I only talk to school if I really need too x

 

[thisismyusername123]

@marc16 I appreciate you have lots of barriers but at the same time you are expressing you are unhappy. One won't give way without the other. Unhappiness won't go if you choose to stay alone and not work on things either inner self or outer self (of course self love and care is a massive step towards improving a healthy identity).
I suppose what I'm saying is, there are lots of barriers you are putting up with other people's suggestions....maybe a look inwards is the start for you. There isn't a magic pill which will give you friends or confidence to do something. Set a small goal one at a time, some affirmations....only you can do this work
And once you start ... it'll help give your kids the same message ...to be confident, to be social, to love and respect themselves. if they see a shy, lonely mum they could mirror your traits.
Another point to consider ... you've not mentioned your age but could you be perimenopausal? I'm 42 and peri and a symptom can be mass anxiety. You can have regular normal periods and still be in peri. Download a menopause symptom checker and see what relates it might not be helping how you are feeling?

 

[marc16]

@thisismyusername123 not really barriers when I don't want to do something I won't like doing. I'm not exactly unhappy just a bit lonely from time to time. I love my own company, enjoy the piece and quiet when the kids are at school/Nursery.
All my kids have mirrored my traits already but as my oldest is happy with the way he is, he's anti social, very rarely likes socialising and he's confident about it. He's so like and his dad, don't like people very much. 1 or 2 friends is just enough.
I'm 32 so think I'm a long way off. My anxiety been with me since I was a kid just when you get to adult life you actually realise how bad this world is and makes your anxiety so much worse

 

[amazinggrace94]

I feel for you. Not so different for some of us guys too: I have 3 or 4 close friends but some live at great distance which makes it hard seeing them often. I work from home so see no-one during the day. I have a 9yo daughter with whom I'm close but she doesn't live with me and i also have some interaction on the school run. But evenings can be lonely for guys too when you're not in a relationship. Finding new friends when you're older is definitely more of a challenge!

 

[marc16]

@amazinggrace94 I get that. My husband an introvert too. He's actually found a job where he finally found a couple he clicked with but other than that he's latched onto me doesn't help I'm not much company at night after been terrorised all day by kids

 

[amazinggrace94]

@marc16 things is: I don't consider myself an introvert at all. I'm confident socially and do love going out. I'm just at a stage where I need to broaden my horizons. When you're single and most of your friends are married or coupled up, it's harder to get together at times!

 

[isolde]

Sometimes it’s the people around u that make it difficult for you to have a conversation.
I don’t have many friends too, probably like 2 or 3 and we don’t talk or see each other every day. I know I’m sociable and I know I ‘want’ what u also mentioned. I don’t think ur an introvert, because u ‘want’ to have a girly chat and an evening out with the girls etc but u find it hard to click or have a connection. Trust me most of the times it’ll be the type of ppl around u. Because I know how I can be when I meet someone and we click and get on right away, not everybody has that energy and maybe u and I have trouble connecting with people that are hard to connect with. You get me?

 

[marc16]

@isolde I'm definitely at introvert. I like things calm. I can deal with 1 person to chat too. I need less stimulation. I do enjoy my alone time more than been around people. I don't want a huge group of friends just 1 that I can chat too when I feel like socialising

 

[isolde]

@marc16 hmm.
Maybe try finding someone even if it’s online that shares the same interests as u and that would give u something to roll a conversation and try to build it up from there.

 

[ramesh1]

I’m the same, only I no longer have a husband lol . I have a dog & talk to lots of people when we are out & about, I’m also a member of a dog agility club so have friends there & I work I a doggy daycare (where I also take my dog lol ) so have work friends. The majority of my friends I’ve met because of my dog , so my advice is get a dog lol

 

[marc16]

@ramesh1 I have a dog but people are scared of him and even more now with the news of XL bullies.

 

[ramesh1]

@marc16 aww that’s a shame. What about joining a dog club with him? You could do obedience or rally just for fun & to meet new people. Maybe even compete with him, show people what great dogs they can be in the right hands

 

[jx525]

I'm the same but just accepted that my fiance is my best friend and i don't really need anyone else

 

[marc16]

@jx525 how do you deal with no girlie convos? Don't know what I'm after because I'm same as you my husband my best mate and I love the banter which you don't get with alot of women. I used to be friends with males more than females when I was younger x

 

[jx525]

@marc16 yeah me too all my friends were males. I just find "girlie convos" consist of bitching about other people and then i sit there and think i wonder what they say behind my back when i leave . I guess I'm lucky i have 2 sisters and a mum that i can talk girly stuff if i need to x