Struggling as an Introvert: Anyone Else Feeling Lonely and Finding It Hard to Make Friends?
- Thread starter marc16
- Start date
If you want company you may have yo overcome your fear and talk to people. You have the biggest opportunity when your kids are young as they do the introducing for you. Or how about joining a club - maybe a small art class or something or even getting a small part time job to get out there if it fits around nursery or school.
Go to parks you might meet parents there hobbies, even kids club that include parents etc. Make yourself go out. I struggle and could count my friends outside of family on one hand for the ones I see. As long as they are good friends thats what matters. Keep trying with the friends you have even when you just want to hide away, but that does swing both ways xx
@rmayer32 my experience of baby/Toddler groups was okay but never clicked with other mums. My kids never played with anyone I found it pointless even though I kept going for their sake. They seemed to interact more at soft play than at play groups. My kids are introverts. My oldest loves it he owns it wish I could be more like him, but somehow he makes loads of friends even though he's not a social person 
@rmayer32 they do. My youngest son struggles at school but we can go to a park or soft play and he makes loads. My oldest is an introvert and he's so proud of it. His words "I don't like socialising or been socialable but I don't care" he's 9. But he still has kids at school wanting to be his friend x
godslittlesoldier
New member
@rmayer32 I forced myself to go to baby groups with my third baby and I still feel so awkward! I will have conversations with a few of the mums while I'm there but never enough to say fancy a coffee etc plus most of the mums that go there go with their friends so they don't really talk to anyone else! It's so annoying, I will talk to the mums at the school but only if they speak first because they all have their clicky groups and I feel like I'm just annoying them if I talk first! Have 2 friends but only meet up once every like 4 months because they have jobs and families too.
Why not get involved with school - offer to be on the parents association or offer to do some reading in school with the kids. I’m an introvert so know how hard it can be but we can’t expect people to just decide they’re going to befriend us (annoyingly!) and you’re going to have to put yourself out there and do things that make you feel a bit uncomfortable like making conversation when at the school gates. I very much doubt they don’t want to talk to you, they don’t know you. If you want to get to know them then you’re going to have to be brave and go over and say hi and start chatting away. But the best way to get to know people is by doing stuff together, so offer to help at the school Christmas fayre or something like that and then push yourself to be chatty (even if you’re hating it at the time) and you will start to make friends.
@calista I'd love to but my anxiety says no! Iv tried pushing my anxiety by doing things to end up been worse off mentally and takes days/weeks to recoup. As for reading with kids I have enough on with my 3 children I don't need to be around anymore 
Doesn't help I'm quite good judge of character and been on my own at school I listen very carefully to parents conversations and not who I want associate with after listening to them
Doesn't help I'm quite good judge of character and been on my own at school I listen very carefully to parents conversations and not who I want associate with after listening to them
@marc16 have you spoken to the GP about your anxiety? Because if it’s stopping you from being able to do the things you want to do it’s interfering in your life. Speaking as someone with anxiety when it gets to the level that it’s adversely interfering with my life I have a chat with my GP and we tweak my medication levels. I know it’s tough.
@marc16 have you tried talk therapy? Can be either 1to1 or part of a group. It's a little daunting at first & can be extremely tiring but can be really helpful at releasing pent up rubbish that holds you back, but you need to give it a chance to work (been there, done that, got several t-shirts!
) Please be reassured, you are not alone, there are people out here that do understand. Hold onto your strengths, don't dwell on the bad days & make the most of the good ones x
) Please be reassured, you are not alone, there are people out here that do understand. Hold onto your strengths, don't dwell on the bad days & make the most of the good ones x@footwear2 they only do group ones where I am and I refused it as I can't do group things like that x
@marc16 you’re right that it doesn’t fix it but it just makes things a bit easier (I find). I’m on a pretty high dose of my anti anxiety med and I don’t feel like a zombie or feel nothing. I feel everything as usual, I just have a bit of help not getting lost in the anxiety. I still feel anxious at things but at a manageable level that I can cope with. It may be that meds aren’t for you but it could just be that the ones you’ve tried didn’t work for you. Just wanting to give the other side of how helpful meds can be and how much of life they can give you back.