Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

[perperper]

I put all their things in a bin bag and outside. If they wanted it back they put it away

 

[torino]

We have an app called family link , I can turn their phone off and turn off apps , set time limits ect .
In our house the phones go off while jobs get done.
They do get a small amount of money for each job they do .

 

[tdcochran25]

I find Family Link is great, and highly recommend it aswell.

 

[mariong]

@torino we use the same! We also pay them minimum wage for chores around the house and there are daily responsibilities they have to do to get their pocket money or money is taken off them each week. Last week my daughter earned £16 but this week, she's lost her bus ticket and she is having to pay out of her money for the bus so is losing money and is likely to earn nothing this week! We're hoping consistency will make them realise the need to do these thing and what they get or don't get from us is linked to their jobs round the house. Also, when they do the jobs they get annoyed if someone else makes things dirty again so.its making them be a bit cleaner in the things they do!

 

[singnsuzq]

Wait until they’re all asleep go in room remove their things phones gone Xbox/playstation gone tv gone literally take all their s**t away tell them they will have to earn them back are you paying for their phone contracts? Tell them you are canceling it all you have to be firm and not give in and give them their stuff back after a day write a house rota for them all to help take care of the house and tell them they need to stick to it for at least a month before you’ll even think of giving any gadgets back they need to start taking you seriously and this may be the only way you will get them to listen x

 

[kindofb1ue]

My son was just like this. Ate everything, used everything and wouldn’t lift a finger. Looked at us like idiots when we lost our shit! He joined the army at 18, the change was instant!!!
He’s 26 and a civvy now, and is massively embarrassed when we remind him what a tosser he used to be!!
Sending you love and strength! It’s temporary and will pass. Xxx

 

[wolfstano]

I understand it’s the physical and mental load going on here …..which impacts the emotional load too ……I’ve come across this and it might be worth a look

Amazon.co.uk

 

[godislight]

My kids are 19, 16, 15, 12 and 8. I could have wrote this post myself but this last fortnight we've had some improvement. I've totally blitzed a room at a time, they've had strict instructions on how to keep that room decent (yes I know its common sense) and I've been checking it alllll the time. I feel like it's taken up the last 2 weeks of my life but they're remembering to do things without being asked now, because they know I'll see it and send them back to do it anyway so they just get it done while they're there! They've mastered the bathroom now, so now the training has started in the living room which they're just getting the hang of! It's a slow process but doing it room by room like this is really working for us. I made a rod for my own back as all their lives I've done it all for them. But declining health has meant that in the last 3 years I've been able to do less and less so now I'm having to start from scratch as if they're all toddlers my advice to the ones with younger children...don't think doing it for them is the easier option, that's what I thought, but in the long run it really isnt! Teach them young so it's just natural for them to pick up after themselves x

 

[brokenhill]

Change the wi-Fi code daily, they only get it when all their mess is tidied (that’s every child’s mess otherwise one will tidy, get the new code & share it!) x

 

[daniellebouchie]

@marseille18 !!! Thank the lord it’s not just us

 

[lionheartiv]

Go in their room & remove all electrical products as for the phones take them when they are sleeping I feel ur pain my now 16 year old did this when he was 13 he soon learnt how to behave

 

[crawdaddy905]

Take devices away until chores are done then u don't even need turn off Internet for them to then use data

 

[andro]

If u can't take there phones take there chargers when they are at school or asleep phones soon die n no way to charge them make them do what u ask to earn them back my son is a complete d*** head n I take his cables for his p.c and his charger take p*** out of me I will take p*** out of u

 

[harvest46]

I would try once again to have a reasonable conversation and to explain how this has an impact on your mental peace...if then nothing changes I would start to take action... e.g. everything that is out of place goes to the charity shop when they are left without any stuff they'll understand you are not kidding.

 

[drcih]

Haven’t read all the comments but I use Family Link app. If they don’t listen lock their phone so regardless of data they won’t be able to use it.

 

[run]

@drcih I've got that on my 10 year olds but 16 year old won't have it. And yep I've took chargers (mates have same chargers) unplugged Internet, denied money and going out. No use

 

[clchosenbygrace]

Download the family link app. Enables you to lock their phones. Data or not they won't be able to use them. Also means you can check their location and get pings when they arrive at set destinations.

 

[run]

@clchosenbygrace if they give up the phone to set it up

 

[alexa127]

@run If they give up the phone? You’re the parent, you take the phone and set it up.

 

[clchosenbygrace]

@run I'm very fortunate, my two don't mind me doing such things. But I wouldn't take no for an answer if they did. I'm the parent, they follow my rules. My two are grateful for having said phones. Too many times we allow children to dictate the rules...not in my house. They respect my rules, I respect them for following them.