Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

[laurence99]

I can’t imagine trying to cope with such disrespect! There wouldn’t be any shouting. I would wait until they’re at school and empty their rooms, shut off their phones, shut off the internet and make them fend for themselves. Respect is a two way street and it’s earned. My 26yr old wouldn’t even look at me wrong . I was raised firm but fair and mine were raised the same. Hope it all works out xx

 

[gypsyroseiyer]

Do they pay for their phones? If not then stop paying on their behalf.
Stop doing their washing, shove their dirty washing back in their rooms and tell them if they’re old enough to be disrespectful then they’re old enough to take responsibility for themselves.
I’d sit them down one by one and be honest with them, calmly, about how they’re making you feel.
If you give them pocket money/allowances, stop.
Stop cooking dinner for them - they can do it themselves.
Sorry you’re going through this. I’m a secondary teacher and to be honest, some teens are total d@&ks but once they get over ‘that stage’, they are lovely young adults.

 

[cluelessluke]

My daughter is 15 and a cow…lies, steals, climbs out of windows when grounded. Had phones removed all internet. Even took her make up and hair straighteners to try deterring her from escaping the house!! NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING works!! It’s so hard I love the bones of her but I don’t like her one bit!
I’ve even rang early help to try see if they can help as at the moment she really is just doing as she pleases and I’ve got zero control.
I’m hoping and praying that it passes real soon. I feel for parents in this situation x

 

[sandy505]

@cluelessluke take her bedroom door off so u can see what shes doing lock her bedroom window so cant open it to climb out ?

 

[cluelessluke]

@sandy505 I’ve took the door off well actually she pulled it off in temper and she climbs out the kitchen window that I haven’t got a key for. I’ve never had a key for it since moving in. She is like lightning though if I unlock the door for a parcel and forget to lock it she is off! Police have brought her back twice. It’s just a nightmare x

 

[ljbrooks123]

@sandy505 omg never ever EVER take a door off. Its literally the difference between life and death in a fire situation.

 

[glow63]

I would give natural consequences for their actions. Taking away phones etc isn't going to show them anything. When they don't have anything to eat because dishes haven't been cleaned or anything to wear because their clothes haven't been cleaned, you can bet a teenager will have something to say when they're embarrassed going in dirty clothes. It'll be tough for a little while until they learn and you might have to live with some mess whilst going through the process but worth it in the long run!

 

[felix2004]

Black rice in bedroom - look like mouse droppings

 

[blessed15]

Gather up their phones when they are asleep and don't give them back for however long it takes and stick to it.
If you are that bothered about them having a phone to let them keep in contact with you then buy them a £10 phone pay as you go sim. Don't give them any spend. It's your house, your rules. If you give a punishment then stick to it. That's the most important.

 

[rogerstees]

@kervinjacque not just us then

 

[kervinjacque]

@rogerstees Omg reading this post is like my life what is wrong with our kids

 

[inhisarms17]

Take their devices away. The only thing that works tried and tested many times.

 

[lostsunshine]

I’m so very sorry to hear this and don’t really have any advice to already disrespectful teens. I’m not sure I’d cope if mine were like that so can understand your frustration but to all those who have younger children ! Read this and set rules early as getting teens to listen is hard. I was super strict when mine were little and always judged for being harsh but I’m so thankful I was. Advice to anyone with young children to start young and be consistent. Sorry that doesn’t help your situation. Hugs

 

[de_maria]

@lostsunshine exactly my thinking

 

[simplegospel1144]

Who pays for the data? If its you than don't pay until they start helping out

 

[annevar]

Turn the Internet off

 

[danasim]

Id sit them down and explain how it's making you feel, reach them at an emotional level, rather than 'I'm the boss'. See if that helps xx

 

[raghu]

This sort of thing happens in most of the households In the world. The stress gives me anxiety and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I don't remember agreeing to thus way of life and it does fall on deaf ears and it is soul destroying but at least feel safe in the Knowledge its not just you!! I can't give you any advice as my daughters (19 &16)do keep their room tidy however crap gets swept into the hallway, rubbish overflowing in the bathroom as is wash basket, plates with food on left on the side with pans used to cook!! Dpnt get me wrong they will occasionally help me out....Dont even get me started on my son (22) Pick your battles is all I can advise. if they make a mess ask them to put it away if not stand there and stare at them until they get the message. or advise them for each chore you have to do on their behalf charge them for it. No phone upgrades or money for luxuries until they stop being dickhxxds!!

 

[de_maria]

Who pays for their devices? Who pays for their clothes, who pays for their anything?! Show them who is boss, take away the things they take for granted. Sit them down and explain why it’s happening, give them a timeline for which things need to change or else they won’t get their stuff back. Best thing to do….. wait until they are asleep, then take all their stuff! Lock it in your car or somewhere they can’t find them (maybe up in the loft)!
Don’t be “angry mum - I’m the winner” with them, just explain how you feel, why you’re upset and how they can help you to create a more respectful environment. Also if you haven’t done so already, put a time restriction on their Devices. Don’t let them have them in their rooms over night or before school. Just basically set some guidelines which will work for your family.
I hate being mess police, food police and homework police, but something has to give and positive, calm communication can work a treat. I hope that helps

 

[audranne]

Any consolation i have 3 daughters my middle and youngest (27 and 22) are both very very lazy whilst i am typing this i am still waiting for the 27 year old to wash up the all the items was used to make her cake which the 22 year old did for her. Her dad and i have asked her numerous times to do and she keeps coming out with bu*****t excuse not to do it. So it isn't just teenagers that are like it. Sorry.