Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?
- Thread starter jjoseph
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tranphankhai
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I've 4 kids, with Extremely big gaps, I done it all on my first, everything, they turned out lazy and dirty, and that's the truth of it.
It's a car crash trying to reign them in when they've hit the teens, because they already have the lazy habits, and now a hormonal, rebelling attitude to go with it.. I feel your pain
You can try and talk, explain how unfair it is, but it doesn't usually last long. The only other option, is set out their jobs/chores, and start removing things like electronics, internet, when they don't get it done. They need the lesson in the harsh realities of life, and that they aren't just entitled to everything.
If you have any more, you need to implement tidying from a young age, it then becomes a natural step to them like walking and talking
I so wish I knew this in my first two, could of saved myself a lot of stress, arguments the lot.
I wish you all the best on making the changes, hugs Mamma bear, you are gonna have to be ready to start standing your ground, and teaching them that their treatment of you and your husband is a level of disrespect that you are no longer putting up with x
It's a car crash trying to reign them in when they've hit the teens, because they already have the lazy habits, and now a hormonal, rebelling attitude to go with it.. I feel your pain
You can try and talk, explain how unfair it is, but it doesn't usually last long. The only other option, is set out their jobs/chores, and start removing things like electronics, internet, when they don't get it done. They need the lesson in the harsh realities of life, and that they aren't just entitled to everything.
If you have any more, you need to implement tidying from a young age, it then becomes a natural step to them like walking and talking
I so wish I knew this in my first two, could of saved myself a lot of stress, arguments the lot.
I wish you all the best on making the changes, hugs Mamma bear, you are gonna have to be ready to start standing your ground, and teaching them that their treatment of you and your husband is a level of disrespect that you are no longer putting up with x
jennifer2010
New member
I’ve had same issues. Lowered their data so it’s not unlimited and that put a rocket up their arses when I turn internet off!
I dont have children of my own but sweets that seems awfull how they are acting and im sorry your going threw that. Drop kick them out the door in dirty clothes, just buy the basics of food no treats etc (obvs u can starve them) mayb write a contract of rules to earn stuff like phones treats even as far as crisps choc etc. dont earn it dont respect it dont get it x
steffie575
New member
Feel your pain
man_in_pain
New member
view155747
New member
@view155747 don’t ever be afraid of being honest. You can love them, like the whole world. But how they are right now? Nah.
I’ve always told them, “you are my whole world, but my world doesn’t revolve around you”
I’ve always told them, “you are my whole world, but my world doesn’t revolve around you”
faithfulserenity316
New member
@davidn87 I think this is the kind of parenting honesty that we need to see much much more of. Otherwise all we see is false pictures of idealistic parent/child relationships that make the rest of us feel like a failure. Totally with you, love my kids beyond words, but I don't LIKE them all the time. 
@faithfulserenity316 very true. I’m honest with my kids, my husband, everyone. Feeling like a failure is because you feel it’s all your fault. Others need to take responsibility for their actions. Especially when they’re old enough to see the effect.
They say to me, “who’s your favourite child?”. My reply, “depends on the day”
Big love to honest parenting! My house is a shit hole, I have 70p in my bank account, my kids have no money on their school accounts, but food to make their own lunch at home, and I’m up at 5am every day.
They say to me, “who’s your favourite child?”. My reply, “depends on the day”
Big love to honest parenting! My house is a shit hole, I have 70p in my bank account, my kids have no money on their school accounts, but food to make their own lunch at home, and I’m up at 5am every day.
My kids are younger so i probably have this pain to come but seconding about sitting down either as a family (you and your partner need to pre-agree what you want to come out of it, what battles you want to fight, what discipline routes you have (likely money and data), what changes you want made and how to explain it in adult/responsibility terms). My kids are 9 and 11, but I use the ‘if you want to act like young adults, and watch the occasional 12 rating films, then you have to accept the increased responsibility of being a young adult - taking dishes to the table, hanging washing when asked, hoovering when asked, etc). I feel that while they live under your roof, you are the boss (and legally in charge of them) so what you say goes. If they want to live by different rules, they get their first jobs and start saving). But I would choose a limited number of fights, hear it their ideas/concerns/choice of favoured jobs/suggestion for rewards/etc
I have had similar with my son he stole my jewelry most of which was my grans then when I was poorly in hospital he stole his step dad's records since he was 3 I had tried to get an adhd diagnosis when he was 11 he slashed his arms dr then said adhd then all the stealing began and the drugs and I Continued to query aspergers and anything else at 18 I kicked him out and within a day he had the aspergers diagnosis he lived on supported housing still on drugs legal spice and weed then one night I got a call he was in hospital bleeding out from 5 burst ulcers in his stomach he was a couple of pints short of death was in hospital for 2 weeks he's now 28 has a very good job a son and a shared house so bare with it don't give up even though I did I had to kick him out to sort him out otherwise I'd have killed him