Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

That couldn't run in my household. I know teens can be very challenging however you need to be consistent and stricter. If I was you I would remove all electronic devices as a starting point and treats etc. None of my Children would get anything back until they started to tidy up and respect the household they live in.
 
taking the phone didn't work for me with my daughter when she was like this in her teens - so I took her makeup. Maaaan did that cause a riot - but she did as she was asked eventually just to get it back
 
My daughter is 11 and tries it with both me and my husband. I have told her when I stop speaking then she can deal with either one of her Aunts. If that doesn't do the trick I have said she can go live with her Grandmother in the Caribbean for good.
She apologised immediately! I have taken away her phone, video games and watch before but did nothing!
We will see what happens!
 
Are all the bedrooms on the same electric circuit? But not one that affects you downstairs - trip the switch, no TV, and no way to charge the phones… once they run out it’s tough!
Or take the phone chargers…
 
For the younger ones you should be able to withdraw tech much easier. My friend had a cage that all tech had to go into between certain hours. Especially overnight. They get addicted. (We all do). Even if you set an evening a week that between 7-9 you have to do family board games with tech in the box. TBH expecting them to pull their weight in the house is going to be difficult. It could be a food planner and saying it you don’t do x,y,z all of them. Then this is food I am getting in. If everyone’s does it we get this menu. TBH the older ones won’t care.
 
Firstly @jjoseph ..... Breath! I'm sure you'll find a way to navigate through this. I had a teenager living with me.... Semi-fostered and they were a nightmare. I got to the point I used to just close their bedroom door. Anything that didn't go in a washing basket didn't get washed. I fed her at meal times when the rest of us were eating.
I have recently discovered magnetic child locks for kitchen cupboards. They cannot be seen from the outside and you have a small device to open. Get some of these so that they cannot just help themselves ♥ Good luck x
 
First sit them down as a couple and explain your issues. Then if it doesn’t improve
Take their phones off them simple, Allow them
Laptops for only homework time only and get them to do it in dinning room so you can monitor its homework l!
Don’t Like your rules? Then do nothing for them simple, no phones no pocket money no treats. Meal at mealtime nothing else.
As for the 16 year old tell them to move out as soon as they finish school.
You need to be strict with them otherwise it will just get worse
 
Don’t pay their phone bills, service will be restricted until you do. I found this out by accident when I cancelled the wrong direct debit. No wifi, no data, just basic calls. They tend to be more forthcoming when you say “oh I’ll pay it in a minute” or “I’ll do it later” or even “WHY SHOULD I, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT!” 😂They then realise how you feel when you get the same responses from them. Keep it up for a couple of days and they’ll change their tune.
 
1st call your Internet provider and get them blocked from the hub (I've done that!) Secondly if they are on your airtime plan lower their data allowance.
No pocket money or treats.
If they won't pick up after themselves, bag it up and put it outside. Don't so their washing apart from uniforms. Take them right back to basics. When they've had enough of that. Sit down and work out a family plan of chores that have to be done consistently to earn back their luxuries.
My 13yr old has currently lost her phone due to her behaviour, 2nd time in a month and with the holidays starting next week she's going to be a very bored little miss
 
Bribery? What do they really want? If they can keep the house clean, be respectful and kind them Christmas this year could be special, a trip away, Christmas dinner out or something.
Maybe you could spend some time 1:1 with each of them and love bomb them. Re connect and maybe they will be kind.
I can’t imagine my boys treating me so badly, they are only 7 and 11 I may be in for a shock
 
I have same problem. I'm a single mam with 3 kids but I'm a psycho if I loose the plot to get any help even though I've asked so many times like a normal human for them to help
 
They dont have any insensitive to clean and tidy as just shouting isn't giving them anything they can earn. You would pay for their phones I presume. So have a family meeting. Lat some new rules down and tell them how much their phones cost you a month, then tell them what they can do to earn that back. If they don't do it, it's fine however they will lose their phone privileges. Also offer them some money every week. My daughter has £30 per week, but she washes and dries up every day, and cleans the kitchen before bed every night. If she doesn't do it she doesn't get the money. If she leaves lights on after 3 strikes she gets £1 taken. She now turns everything off before she leaves the room. Give them insentives and they will be more reasonable humans x
 
@readywriter see I disagree with giving kids money to do simple household chores. I was never given money to do chores as I’m not given that as an adult. Kids should learn that not everything leads to them getting money. They should have pride and care of their belongings. That being said, like the OP, my kids are messy but they do the dishes as their main chore and I don’t pay them for it.
 
@a17 I agree, however teenagers tend to not have any pride in anything other than their phones. Both my girls ask what they can do to earn money, so seems to work for us. It's hard isn't it, what works for some may not work for others. From my view, it teaches them to earn money, and want to work for what they have.
 
@readywriter agree with you there - I wasn’t brilliantly clear in my post. Mine have chores they do and not paid for but they can also ask for additional tasks to earn money. Their favourite is to wash the car - win win for me as it saves me a fortune and I get a clean car 😂
 
@readywriter it shows them that in life you have to go out and earn a living by doing what you said, it worked with my children. Also Ellen Joy there's a name for people like you, and normally get chucked off fb for correcting!
 
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