Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

@crazyman001 your right, if they have a 30day rolling contract then just don’t top it up every month, mine had this and I stopped paying. They all went and got jobs 🙌🙌. I also don’t t do their washing, drying, tidy their rooms (I call it the tramp stage of life) They all do it now themselves x
 
@jjoseph I did what I called the tramp stage, no arguing or anything, I let their rooms get a mess, I stopped doing there washing (they left it in washer and didn’t hang it out), I stopped hanging it out, didn’t pay their phones ( 30day rolling contracts). I spoke in what they call my “posh voice” and eventually they all went and got jobs and the younger one started cleaning her room too. It’s a struggle and I sympathise with anyone going through this stage .
TEENAGERS ARE ARSES, whether to your face or out in the street.
Stay strong they will come out the other side. If all else fails, wine, rum or another other alcoholic drink will numb the pain 😂😂😘
 
Anything they leave lying put into black sacks and place it on their rooms, don’t do washing for them and don’t give in (I had 5 teenagers at the same time) my 2 younger ones help more as they saw the how it was for their 6 older siblings when I refused to baby them
 
Family meetings work in my house for a short while. The family meeting is where everyone gets a chance to say what they feel they need in the home. For example my daughter said I spend too much time on my phone when I'm out with them so I agreed to take that on board and reduce my time on it when I'm out with them.... my husband said he was frustrated with the mess and the fact that the kids don't have chores so the children listened and said they would pitch in more etc etc. I make sure I say things like "we're a team and we all get a say in how our home is ran, we want to make sure everyone is happy so that our home is a good place for us all"....
It wasn't always like this, I used to shout and get cross and throw things away, it never worked and the kids lost respect. The new method means they are valued and everyone gets a say. It seems to work although they need reminding regularly.
 
Hugs xxx Anything they use, just bag up and put in their bedrooms. Get a load of disposable plates ( I know it's not great for the environment, sorry folks) dish their food up on them so there's not so much to wash up when you need to. Personally, I would have a family meeting, give everyone a sheet of paper, get each person to write down what makes them happy, unhappy, what they want most out of life (you and partner included) then pass the paper onto the person sitting next to you.... then write down what you love about the person who's paper you've got and what makes you sad about that person, then pass it on... write down experiences you'd like to have, places you'd like to go together, that kind of thing. My husband found this really useful as he didn't realise at the time, why there was so much tension in the house, the children felt they could write stuff down easier than saying it to his face. Maybe your children need to know from you, just how much this is getting you down. Sometimes as Mums especially if we have health issues, we lose our sh*t and don't say things in a calm way, we react because we're hurting and wish that our family treated us with more respect, we want them to be proud of who they are and to be proud and appreciate you too! None of this parenting malarky is easy, I really hope you find a solution in all the replies, good luck and sending love x
 
Have you sat down and set House rules, with everyone's ideas and involvements and the consequences if they don't follow the rules, then put them up there for everyone to follow, including some rules for you to follow too. Have you also explained your health issues, how they effect you (I did do that with my daughter and she has become more helpful and little more understanding) Just an idea don't know if it will work I'm not quite there yet daughter 11 son almost 8. I do also have this sigh too
 
Feel like iv written this myself, i felt it was just my children, the more i speak up the more i hear other peoples are the same, my girls are 13 & 15 the 13 year olds attitude is hard work, iv cried every day im dredding our family holiday tbh as i no it will end up me being in tears from there lazy rude behaviour, i dont take any crap from them, but no concequesis seem to phase them. Im the same with Wi-Fi they use there data instead, weekends are just rubbish trying to get them out of bed before lunch time is impossible, they wont see friends, just laze about infuriates me so much 😭, i dont have any answers apart from... wine... and plenty of it zxx
 
Don't do fuck all for them, no clean clothes no cooking no food shopping fuck all until they start showing you the respect you deserve
 
@mblessed777 100% agree its just not right and causes so many problems multiple times I've been called an abuser for taking her phone away. It's a joke it really is and I honestly feel for every parent in this situation xx
 
@mblessed777 ive had social involved twice because of mental health issues. Asked for support and got crapped on at a great height. Nearly lost my kids yet i asked for help. I cant lock food away or stop doing basic care needs because theyd be on my arse as ill always be on their radar now x
 
@jjoseph that's shit, just do the basics for them. Clean their clothes but don't iron them, don't pay for their phones so when their data runs out they'll be fucked, when buying food no treats just the big standard basics to live. Social are a bunch of useless pricks
 
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