Seeking Reward System Ideas to Improve Home Environment for My Kids – Looking for Kind Advice

So sorry to hear this. I signed up to this online parenting course when I felt like things were unraveling. It is honestly super helpful, the tips and tools work really well and definitely worth the money! It also really helped me understand why my kids were acting the way they were and recognize their needs.

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The worldwide leader in online parenting classes for toddlers to teens. Founded by parenting expert and best-selling author, Amy McCready, Positive Parenting Solutions has helped 100,000+ families bring peace into their homes.
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I hope this is of some help, I've recently read/listened to (have both hard copy & audio book!) 'Between', it's about social & brain development in the tween years. It has bonded my son (😎 and I ten fold.
Honestly, some is a little fluff for me, but there is so much in the book that I've found sooooo helpful.
I'm afraid I'm totally unhelpful in terms of sibling rivalry as we were blessed with one, but it may help in understanding more about their mindsets and methods to calm them when irate etc. 🤞good luck 💜
 
I feel the same! I'm absolutely no help but just wanted to say you are not alone. So sorry about your husband to,must be so hard for you all❤ my boys are 5 and 10. They do not get on together at all,sometimes I see very rare moments but it doesn't last long😭makes me so upset and I try and keep them apart in different rooms doing different activities which makes me so bad and makes me feel terrible. The other night my 5 year old was hysterically crying because his brother farted in his room and it smelled🤣wtf! My husband works away so usually just me and its exhausting😪
 
Just wanted to say im so sorry you all had to go through what you have. Any mum trying to make things better is a great mum. I dont know the answer as ive 3 kids and it can be harmonious and not so harmonious in my house. Xx
 
Bless you, you may not believe this but you are doing a fantastic job. Being mum and dad is really hard. Get them involved in sports and giving them lots of love ❤️
 
First of all I’m sorry for your loss, they say it gets easier but it doesn’t. You just learn to live with the grief.
You say they are very reactive and so are you?
Have any of you ever been diagnosed with adhd. 67% of children who have it also have undiagnosed parents.
We are a adhd household and this sounds like a typical day in my house as we are all reactive in different ways 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂
 
Sometimes the best thing to do is the opposite to what you think! Behaviour is a communication- what are they communicating?
Instead of clamping down etc nurture them, cuddle them, tell them you love them, they are your world! Go over the top, making hot chocolate, favourite teas. Film nights etc etc tell them you trust them, they are the best things that happened to you.
Make them feel secure and loved.
Xxx
 
@jm01 not at all, I understand the situation, sometimes earning the rewards is not what is needed. I know it sounds crazy but just love and do nice things because you can, it doesn’t have to be earned. Especially when trauma is involved, I honestly feel for you and understand how difficult it is. In my experience love conquers all, have boundaries, give them love, care and make them feel like they are the most people in the world, which they are to you.
It’s not easy, there is no quick fix, it’s exhausting but it will help.
You must ensure you are getting support too, have you got the school ELSA involved? Which external agencies do you have for support. Xx
 
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Have you all had counselling? It might help the kids to talk to someone, you too. 💖
 
Surely they are still struggling for the loss of their dad, this could be a reason why they behave like that.you will need lots of patience and love💕
 
My partner took his own life 12 years ago when my children were the same age as yours were 8 and 4
You are more than welcome to message me
 
Sending You a big hug your doing a great job. Something they each enjoy like being able to choose tea at the end of the week for so many points
 
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