Seeking Reward System Ideas to Improve Home Environment for My Kids – Looking for Kind Advice

@makr a soft toy or a game usually. Whatever they’ve wanted within a small budget (eg £10) I’ll let them choose from the shop. You could do whatever works for you and your family. Over time it’s become less about the prizes as hearing what others are appreciating is a little prize in itself x
 
We had a “mumbucks” system for ages - they could earn or lose them and they translate to digital money (bc nobody uses cash!) to spend on whatever they want. Usually Robux. BUT my kids have had a blessedly trauma free life and have thankfully never had behavioural issues pretty much at all so it was really just finding a way to reward them when they went above and beyond. I don’t know that reward systems work very well for dealing with poor behaviour. Is the world very anti time outs these days? When we had any bad behaviour when they were under 5 we used the “stop it chair” and that worked really well. After 5 they didn’t need it anymore.
We do play a game every day after school or after a weekend with their dad called “best thing worst thing funniest thing” which is what it sounds like but it opens them up and makes them talk about their feelings. We have a very strict rule of never mocking each other for things like having a crush or making a mistake where they would be embarrassed…but we mock each other constantly for everything else so it’s a very laughter-filled household. I think that all helps because they feel really emotionally safe at home. That probably adds to why we don’t have any behavioural issues really but a lot of that is just how they came out rather than any parenting techniques.
 
Bless you, you may not believe this but you are doing a fantastic job. Being mum and dad is really hard. Reward is praise...if they're good why not give them a treat at the weekend xx
 
I make these jars and they get to put their star in when they do something good. When they get 10 stars they get a treat, usually a lego set. My kids are 8,6,4 and 2. They love them!!
 
Please read the Explosive Child by Ross Greens Ph.D he literally strips back the behaviour (albeit based on children on the spectrum) but honestly some very good tools as to what the problem is and how to solve each one, one by one. Because children behaving uncontrollably/explosively or aggressively are lacking some real basic skills.
I’m so sorry for your families loss and I hope you all find peace and harmony after such a tragic trauma. You got this mama ❤️
 
@tallmom67 omg the phone autocorrected! Yes explosive child. My son has ADHD and I’m willing to try anything (including homeopathic medication) to help his behaviour which is volatile, aggressive & destructive (always at school) he’s been diagnosed with adhd but school are failing to support him so this book has really helped to change my perception of his behaviour
 
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