Seeking Reward System Ideas to Improve Home Environment for My Kids – Looking for Kind Advice
- Thread starter jm01
- Start date
@jeffmazza was coming to say this!!
love7christ
New member
@jeffmazza just said the same above!
timothy2016
New member
Mine loved a marble jar. You can offer marbles for good behaviour and take away for bad. At the end of the week give rewards in terms of money/treats/trips etc if they have reached certain levels. Could also do a combined reward to help them build up teamwork.
faith4life91
New member
I haven't any advice but I'm sending you a huge hug. You are also experiencing great trauma..I hope you have people around you to lean on for support 
Send a great big hug to you. Take a deep breath and you have got this.
I would start with some basic house rules you make together simple things we are kind to others.
No cooking until adult present
We help each other..... Ect then praise praise praise like they are toddlers. Reward fast - thanks for being so kind to so and so you deserve a sweet for that, movie night, 10 mins on xbox. Whatever motivates them - then maybe a jar - 10 stars/pompoms and they chose the treat in advance - a joint treat to encourage them to work together. Don't take away stars for bad behaviour just add for good kind polite behaviour....... You need to be consistent (that's hard but you can do this) once ebbed you can make things slightly harder and more work required to earn them xxxxx if you haven't I would also talk to school they may have nurture program to support xxx
I would start with some basic house rules you make together simple things we are kind to others.
No cooking until adult present
We help each other..... Ect then praise praise praise like they are toddlers. Reward fast - thanks for being so kind to so and so you deserve a sweet for that, movie night, 10 mins on xbox. Whatever motivates them - then maybe a jar - 10 stars/pompoms and they chose the treat in advance - a joint treat to encourage them to work together. Don't take away stars for bad behaviour just add for good kind polite behaviour....... You need to be consistent (that's hard but you can do this) once ebbed you can make things slightly harder and more work required to earn them xxxxx if you haven't I would also talk to school they may have nurture program to support xxx
boyofthefuture
New member
Consistency is everything. Having raised a grieving child my heart goes out to you. You will get strong again x x 
I have no advice on reward charts as iv never personally used them however I came here to say this :
Hold on I’m there you are doing amazing, your grieving and raising two children on your own.
It is very common for siblings to argue constantly. Both my girls soemtimes cannot breath the same air. They could make an argument with each other in an empty room. Honestly argue over anything and everything and it’s both of them that spark the arguments in turn every time.
I used to get myself really upset about it and blame myself for them arguing etc but please listen when I say it is normal for them to have this kind of behaviour. They will have moments where they will be the best of friends and have special times together and I can garuntee they will always always stick up for each other against anyone else who may be causing them upset outside out of the home
Hang on in there you are doing a splendid job and you’ve got this
Hold on I’m there you are doing amazing, your grieving and raising two children on your own.
It is very common for siblings to argue constantly. Both my girls soemtimes cannot breath the same air. They could make an argument with each other in an empty room. Honestly argue over anything and everything and it’s both of them that spark the arguments in turn every time.
I used to get myself really upset about it and blame myself for them arguing etc but please listen when I say it is normal for them to have this kind of behaviour. They will have moments where they will be the best of friends and have special times together and I can garuntee they will always always stick up for each other against anyone else who may be causing them upset outside out of the home
Hang on in there you are doing a splendid job and you’ve got this
@sharamaal totally agree, when I think back to some of the arguments me and my sisters had 
But now we are adults we spend so much time together and they are my absolute best friends, it's totally normal for siblings to argue growing up x
But now we are adults we spend so much time together and they are my absolute best friends, it's totally normal for siblings to argue growing up x@alex0811 me and my sister are the same, i remeber being petrified of my older sister thinking she was gonna beat me up or something but as soon as I had trouble at school she was down there before my parents to stick up for me. My girls are the same my oldest won’t let anyone say or do anything to my youngest and the same the other way except when a 10 year old is telling a 13 year old to leave her sister alone it soemtimes makes it worse so Iv had to tell her to leave me to deal with it 
x
xkristaroman
New member
@kristaroman Agreed, they are amazing!
leonard_eccentric
New member
Reward Jar with Stars, Incentive Jar Motivate Good Behaviour Jar, Star Jar Reward System, Potty Training Reward Jar, Homework for Kids, Reward Star for Home Classroom,Star Collect Jar Reward Chart https://amzn.eu/d/bni1Slg
we use these and have money amounts written on the stars, they get them
for chores etc . They enjoy being able to add up their amount and keep a eye on their value, they get ‘paid’ their pocket money on the 1st of each month
we use these and have money amounts written on the stars, they get them
for chores etc . They enjoy being able to add up their amount and keep a eye on their value, they get ‘paid’ their pocket money on the 1st of each month
unkownduck
New member
Firstly, it sounds as though you are all grieving. Grieving is hard and everyone deals with it in different ways.
You are never going to be able to fully focus or have the energy if you, yourself don’t get the emotional support you need.
Secondly, speak to your children’s school to see if they can help with any support their end. They can start the process to refer you for a EHA for a family worker, which can open up other external agencies for help.
Finally, I really hope you are ok, you will get through this. When thing become tough for me at home, I have found writing to my children helps . They always write back and sometimes it’s easier for us to vocalise our feelings and work from there.
Take care x
You are never going to be able to fully focus or have the energy if you, yourself don’t get the emotional support you need.
Secondly, speak to your children’s school to see if they can help with any support their end. They can start the process to refer you for a EHA for a family worker, which can open up other external agencies for help.
Finally, I really hope you are ok, you will get through this. When thing become tough for me at home, I have found writing to my children helps . They always write back and sometimes it’s easier for us to vocalise our feelings and work from there.
Take care x
love7christ
New member
Have a look at Dr Siggie for child behaviour and Becky Mansfield YourModernFamily for lots of helpful tips on implements routines, rewards etc for family life. Lots of luck! You are certainly not alone, it’s incredibly tough! 
@jesusismyticket are fantastic. So many sub groups on here once you’ve joined the main website. Lots of events to attend.
I know I’m not answering your question but thought this could help.
Sending strength to you all
I know I’m not answering your question but thought this could help.
Sending strength to you all
ajsmith365
New member
I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to say I’m sure your doing a great job Mumma, don’t be too hard on yourself. 
Oh bless you...
You sound like you could use some 'gentle' parenting guidance and there's a lovely group called Gently Raising Smalls
you may find helpful. https://www.facebook.com/groups/181438866566748/?ref=share
Hang in there, you can do it mama!
You sound like you could use some 'gentle' parenting guidance and there's a lovely group called Gently Raising Smalls
you may find helpful. https://www.facebook.com/groups/181438866566748/?ref=share
Hang in there, you can do it mama!
windxspiritx316
New member
Care for the family are a great and hopefully will be able to offer support x