Struggling with Teenagers and Mess: How Can I Get My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves?

[josephtheprotector]

@frangipani Well no because she hadnt stated that she'd sat them down and talked to them like adults, at the time of my comment all she'd said is that she had tried turning internet off, not washing their clothes, washing dishes or making them food. It wasnt clear if she had done that first. It's not uncommon for parents to try other avenues before sitting them down 1 by 1 and giving them all a talk

 

[frangipani]

@josephtheprotector but you didn’t ask. You insinuated she didn’t.

 

[josephtheprotector]

@frangipani I didnt insinuate, I assumed.

 

[frangipani]

@josephtheprotector you didn’t collect information needed to assume.. so you insinuated without enough information

 

[josephtheprotector]

@frangipani The information is in the post, why are you trying to argue with me about what i did? I assumed she hadnt spoke to them in an adult conversation because she had listed everything shes tried and hadnt listed that

 

[steelebilly]

@wmusic me too

 

[josephtheprotector]

@steelebilly Feel free to read

 

[liaamsmithh95]

@josephtheprotector oh bless you, if only it were so simple. Sadly there are young adults...let's be honest they aren't "children" who have absolutely zero respect for their parents or indeed authority. No reasoning, calm conversation or bargaining works. The bottom line is, these kids have forgotten that their parents are not their peers and that without them they would have absolutely nothing.

 

[josephtheprotector]

@liaamsmithh95 People have 0 respect for their parents because their parents are authoritarian. Just because you brought someone into the world it doesnt mean you deserve their respect. Raising them is the bare minimum job you chose to do

 

[liaamsmithh95]

And that is precisely the problem. Yes, we chose to do it but I appreciated the work my parents put in to give me the best start in life, to give me a comfortable life and to nurture and guide me. I didn't take it as a God given entitlement. Parents are not their children's servants only there to do their bidding and pick up after them. And remember, being a parent is preparing their child for the world. One day these kids will be someone's partner... And, God help us, parent.
And I'm sorry, your theory on authoritative parenting is incorrect. We've raised five kids, all the exact same way. Some of them are decent, kind, considerate human beings who appreciate the effort put in to raising them. But others are exactly as the OP described.
No one in life should take ANYTHING someone does for them as their entitlement regardless of who it it that is doing it for you.

 

[josephtheprotector]

@liaamsmithh95 I said Authoritarian parenting not Authoritative parenting.

 

[liaamsmithh95]

@josephtheprotector autocorrect! I stand corrected. However, all other points remain unchanged

 

[bfaith03]

@liaamsmithh95 authoritarian and authoritative are two different parenting styles. The former bad, the latter good.

 

[liaamsmithh95]

@bfaith03 yes, I know. Bloody autocorrect.
That doesn't change the rest of my statement.
However, I will add many young people these days see any attempt to discipline as the former!

 

[bfaith03]

@liaamsmithh95 yeah, I completely agree.

 

[childrenarewonderful]

@liaamsmithh95 absolutely

 

[scatney]

@liaamsmithh95 all my 4 respect me despite me being the disciplinarian. You can have firm rules without repressing your children’s mental growth, in fact it gives them a real sense of stability if they know the rules.

 

[stephanie2425]

@josephtheprotector great advice kae

 

[count_sock]

@josephtheprotector maybe instead of judging put yourself in her shoes - have you never been at the end of your tether with your kids?! I know I have and with all the best intentions of remaining calm they no which buttons to press and tbh it probably feels like they gang up on her given their ages and kids expectations today combined with MH. I also doubt she meant intimidated literally

 

[josephtheprotector]

@count_sock No judgement at all, I offered advice and I'm not judging her because kids are hard, especially having 4 at home with several of them being neurodiverse.