Struggling as an Introvert: Anyone Else Feeling Lonely and Finding It Hard to Make Friends?

[jowflowsfree25]

@marc16 agreed re parkrun. Also have a look at 'this mum runs' to see if there is one near you. A really supportive community

 

[aphesis]

I completely understand this. It's so hard &, despite not needing to socialise in the same way as extroverts, we do need socialisation too. I'm too shy to join in clubs or groups & so the only adult interaction I get, apart from with my partner, is with my daughters' friends' parents at school pick-up Where are you based, Stacey?

 

[marc16]

@aphesis I'm based in South Yorkshire what about you? I don't get to interact at school nobody want to talk to me

 

[aphesis]

@marc16 I'm in Suffolk so unfortunately a fair old distance from you. I find it so hard to talk to the other parents, but one of my daughters is an extrovert so I get forced to a lot of the time, as she wants to walk home with her friends after school. I say forced, but sometimes it's actually nice to be pushed into talking to people as I wouldn't do it if I was by myself. I wish there was an answer for how to make new friends. I'm one of those people that just doesn't know what to say & feel so awkward making conversation until I get to know someone properly. I also tend to go over everything I've said in a conversation & cringe about it all

 

[biggerthanme]

@marc16 I'm also South Yorkshire, and I know exactly how you feel. Spend most of my time stood on the edge of other people's conversations not knowing what to do with myself xx

 

[marc16]

@aphesis omg you just sound so like me. I hate making conversation first and when I have had conversations It replays and replays in my head my kids are like me introverts so soon as they finish school they can't wait to get to me and leave their friends behind till next day I have no idea how my oldest does it, his words "don't know why everyone wants to be my friend, I'm not sociable and I don't like socialising, don't talk to anyone ill just play with them if I feel like it" but all in his class they want to be his friend x

 

[masfer]

@aphesis i can relate to this...I'm in suffolk too, whereabouts in suffolk are you? X

 

[aphesis]

@masfer Stowmarket. What about you?

 

[runbethrun]

@aphesis I could have written that! I’m exactly the same! Although mine are all grown up now so there’s no more school mums! It’s so tough xx

 

[aphesis]

@runbethrun it really is! Don't you just envy those people who can just make friends with everyone they meet? I honestly think most people must think I'm so up myself because I don't make conversation, but it's just because I genuinely don't know what to say

 

[runbethrun]

@aphesis yes!! I’ve even asked people before “how do you do that?” When they start chatting to strangers , it doesn’t come naturally to me . I’ve had that before aswell, people thinking I’m ignorant or up myself which isn’t true at all , we just find it hard to get the first connection and start up conversation . Xx

 

[masfer]

@aphesis bury!

 

[lutheransmithy]

100% agree it's so hard as u get older spent almost 8 years as a SAHM and no friends, finally made one friend who moved away, now i have one friend from the school took a few years lol but we are great friends now. Not sure where u live but if u are close to me happy to meet for a coffee

 

[jordansterling]

I'm the same. I get really lonely

 

[cheven]

Depending on your interests you could maybe try a local class and might perhaps meet friends there? Painting, singing, fitness or a new language? Added bonus - you pick up new skills as well as friends!

 

[catinherhat]

I spent 6 months on gardening leave, not working, and joined the gym and made an effort at school. Made new friends through that. Also made effort with existing groups of friends including neighbours etc. if you are stay at home mum gives you more time to do that.

 

[marc16]

@catinherhat I don't really get that much time just because I'm a stay at home mum. By time my daughter goes to nursery got couple of hours to myself twice a week before it's time to pick older too up

 

[mike214]

I’m the same x

 

[garrison]

@mike214..me too lovely xx

 

[monica26]

Oh bless you,sending so much love
I can honestly say I'm exactly the same. The older I get though the more I don't like people I have a couple of really close friends who I can offload to which I'm so blessed. And I have my husband who is my best friend,he know how it is On school run i stay away from other mums,i get bad vibes sometimes as they seem clicky and bitchy,so if you see it that way youre best staying away. So I'm my own worst enemy at times. However it's always quality over quantity,that's what always matters so if the one friend is the best there can be then you will be fine. Also you may not have found your 'people ' yet. Talk to people on here or on a friends group so you don't have to meet if you don't want to. Sometimes it's about talking a big,brave step to making friends and if you're like me and have your comfort zones it's really hard and scary.
I'm here if you want to talk too! Xx