tonipraise
New member
I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through.
Please remember that good is subjective, so reward not fighting with each other but encourage them to talk about their issues and lay out boundaries rather than just blankly advising not to argue (not saying you do but it’s easy to fall in to with reward schemes).
I’m assuming you’ve requested help from school, local support services, GP and cahms to try and get support in place, it is shockingly hard to find but the squeaky wheel gets the oil so shout louder. Childhood trauma can also present as if an individual is ADHD or on the autistic spectrum, so you can always push for that to try and get the counselling they offer before starting pathways. Just an option but i get it’s not easy or ideal.
As rewards we try and offer non monetary based ones. We don’t have a reward chart because family of ND here and it gets forgotten after the initial dopamine boost, but when we want to praise good days etc, we do it as family time. So hot chocolate, popcorn and movie night all piled in our bed with cuddles. Days out in fresh air playing games together and leaving the phones behind. Family games nights, that kind of thing. I get it doesn’t work for everyone so its what will work best for everyone in your home.
Button or pompom jars have been a winner for some friends of mine, as have your gold old star charts and x amount of stars gets a prize. It totally depends on what you’re comfortable with.
I really hope things get easier for you and you all get the space, time and support you need to heal.
Please remember that good is subjective, so reward not fighting with each other but encourage them to talk about their issues and lay out boundaries rather than just blankly advising not to argue (not saying you do but it’s easy to fall in to with reward schemes).
I’m assuming you’ve requested help from school, local support services, GP and cahms to try and get support in place, it is shockingly hard to find but the squeaky wheel gets the oil so shout louder. Childhood trauma can also present as if an individual is ADHD or on the autistic spectrum, so you can always push for that to try and get the counselling they offer before starting pathways. Just an option but i get it’s not easy or ideal.
As rewards we try and offer non monetary based ones. We don’t have a reward chart because family of ND here and it gets forgotten after the initial dopamine boost, but when we want to praise good days etc, we do it as family time. So hot chocolate, popcorn and movie night all piled in our bed with cuddles. Days out in fresh air playing games together and leaving the phones behind. Family games nights, that kind of thing. I get it doesn’t work for everyone so its what will work best for everyone in your home.
Button or pompom jars have been a winner for some friends of mine, as have your gold old star charts and x amount of stars gets a prize. It totally depends on what you’re comfortable with.
I really hope things get easier for you and you all get the space, time and support you need to heal.