Managing Phone Use and Bedtime for Teenager Sharing a Room

[marootsoobutsu]

Is it to prevent her disturbing her sister. If so can you make the rule she has to be in a common room (e.g. living room/kitchen) when on the phone after sister has gone to bed.
Do you have expectations of her in the house e.g. does she need to be up at a certain time, do certain things, if so you can say on the condition these are done she can stay up as late as she likes on the phone in a common room. But if these fail then she losses it for a period.
Same idea as a job.
If you can't do you job because you've up to late then you can get fired therefore out money and things nice things go first.
If its for other reasons this won't work.
But she'd struggle to argue with this as its about disturbing her sister which would be fair, and doing what she's committed to.

 

[redjen]

She's 16 a young adult surly after all her hard work doing exams you can now give her some leeway. As long as she is up in the morning for her day I don't see the problem. She needs to learn her own boundaries x

 

[islandray]

I think you need to relax a bit to be honest, in 2 years time she could be off to university where she’ll be doing far more than sitting up on her phone. She’s right, if she’s tired in the morning then that’s her problem. She should be trusted to have her phone by now and she’ll learn the natural consequences of not getting enough sleep

 

[kateikins]

YOUR rules
YOUR home
YOUR child
I know a child who was groomed from the age of 11. This happened because of excessive use on the phone. I'm not saying this will be yours, or any other child but I'm sure the mother of said child would have enforced better rules had she of known what her child was accessing whilst she gave the child that freedom.
You will have many on here who will silently disagree. Stick to your guns.
I grew up with such a strict father I really used to hate it. As an adult now with my own children I realise now why my dad was so stiff.

 

[queenofethopians]

Your daughter is right that the consequence is hers if she is tired, however if she is sharing with her younger sister this will be a consequence for her sibling.
I would try this as a different tact, that as she is sharing with a younger sibling that Internet safety is paramount and she needs to take the responsibility of her younger sibling into account, discuss with how she can and will keep her sibling safe / not exposed to things.
Perhaps reach an agreement that earbuds/earphones are worn, that brightness level must be turned down and the sound of keys tapping turned off. That if she wishes to talk /chat with friends that she must leave her room to do so. Communication is the key here and reach an agreement of how to manage and minimise disruption to her sibling. Perhaps a compromise on timings to start with.

 

[tch22]

My 17 and 13 year old boys share. My 13 year old has learnt to sleep through the xbox and phone of his brother and his brother knows to keep the sound at a minimum .

 

[beckylynn]

If she's up too late and tired and grumpy the next morning it effects everyone around her not just her!

 

[walkingdisaster]

We have this argument with the 15 year old constantly.
Atm we've agreed that during the week, phone is left downstairs so it gives her some techno free time, doesn't affect sleep etc.
On weekends she has phone in her bedroom. She stays on it til all hours then doesn't wake up until almost dinner time unless I make her get up if we're going out.
BUT she seems quite happy with this set up atm.
Not sure what we will do summer hols yet as don't want her on phone til early hours then sleeping in super late but will cross that bridge when we get to it.
Could that be an option for you??
Parenting teens is hard!!!

 

[ruddcs7]

@walkingdisaster do you know what? This actually could be an option and a compromise I would be willing to do... so thank you x

 

[walkingdisaster]

@ruddcs7 ahhh good luck!! It's hard work but we try to come to decisions together which isn't easy x

 

[jennyjones]

@walkingdisaster this is the rule we have! I find it a good compromise with my daughters x

 

[tom9832]

At 16 I wouldn't be imposing those kind of rules. She is practically an adult. As long as she isn't disturbing her sister it's up to her if she stays up all night ....

 

[dave68]

Thank goodness my children are grown up, although they have children and have to be real strict with the length of time the kids spend on gaming etc.
Good luck to all the mums on here

 

[nsk]

Personally i disagree with you, she’s 16 on holidays and yes, all of her mates will have their phones
But in the nicest possible way, it really doesn’t matter what we think…you’ve clearly made up your mind, so I’m not sure what replies you expect?

 

[ruddcs7]

@nsk I asked for opinions because I do believe that sometimes we as parents can be unfair... and although I personally don't believe I'm being unfair in this situation, I wanted to see what others thought because if a majority said I was being unfair or had another way of dealing with it then I'd take that on board x

 

[nsk]

@ruddcs7 Fair play , honestly, personally I think it’s unfair, but we all have to make whatever decision is right for them and their family x

 

[ruddcs7]

@nsk yes we do, and if you have read the edit on the post, you may be able to understand a little more why I can't just let her be up all night on her phone. Thank you for sharing your view on this with me. I appreciate it. X

 

[nsk]

@ruddcs7 Literally just read it! So yep! Fair play to you…xxx
Bloody hard work teenagers!!

 

[ruddcs7]

@nsk they are aren't they! Xx

 

[krillz]

Personally I would come to a compromise instead of a Flat No, how is she ever going to earn your trust if you tell her No all the time, compromise to say 11 and tell her the 1st time she is late turning it off then she goes back to the original time of 9..there are plenty of apps that you can put on her phone to safe guard her etc, she needs to learn to be responsible now while your still able to guide her.