Managing Phone Use and Bedtime for Teenager Sharing a Room

[ruddcs7]

Edit- thank you everyone for your opinions. I'm set on the rule so it won't be changing. She will hand over her phone at 11pm whether she likes it or not.
For those who have said, let her make the mistake she will learn... she basically stayed up all night on her phone 3/4 nights a week for about 2 months, went to school with no sleep, fell asleep in mock exams and was well and truly failing. She was being horrible to her brothers and sisters, was getting severely anxious resulting in panic attacks all because she clearly isn't mature enough yet to make a good decision for her health when it comes to her phone. I understand let them make their mistakes, but that was only in January/February of this year. I trusted her to have the phone in her room again only 2 weeks ago... and again, up all night. Compromised has been done to death.... 11pm bed and phone left downstairs, because its best for her health, they don't always learn

Hey everyone... some advice needed please!
My 16 year old has just finished her exams/school. She shares a room with her sister who is just turning 12. As a rule we expect that at bedtimes, phones are left downstairs as she has a habit of staying on it all night (she was doing this even on school days). She's telling me her friends can have theirs, so she should have hers until 1 am, she will put brightness down etc not to disturb her sister... that if she lacks sleep that's her problem not mine!
I've flat out told her no. The rule will stay in place whether she likes it or not. It's non negotiable. I don't trust that it will be turned off at 1am, and tbh, even then, I don't want my 16 year old up till 1am with her face glued to her phone.
Can I have your opinions please?

 

[notthatcreative]

I personally 100% agree with you xx

 

[onefishacs]

Each to their own. There is no right or wrong way. It's your rule x

 

[ginaxmill]

What time is their bedtimes out of curiosity? X

 

[ruddcs7]

@ginaxmill she goes to bed approx 11 my 12 year old 8.30/9. X

 

[minatokomi]

She’s nearly an adult, what’s her holiday plans? Does she have a job or reason to be up? Perhaps mirror what you do with yours?

 

[ruddcs7]

@minatokomi no, she has no reason to be up other than she just wants too. She's currently looking for a part time job yes. And tbh, yes, you have a good point. I should probably put my phone away earlier. But i don't lay in bed on it till sometimes 5/6 o'clock in the morning like she has done when she's ignored the rule and snuck the phone upstairs. Xx

 

[minatokomi]

@ruddcs7 I think most of us do it, im definitely guilty of a doom scroll when I should be sleeping and up the next day! I’m sure you’ll work out where best for you as a family x

 

[nothanks1]

Take it off her, you’re the parent… both my kids…16 and 12 have to hand over their phones at bedtime…. Even though all their friends are allowed theirs….we did that from the start though….. good luck xx

 

[ruddcs7]

@nothanks1 yeah, I have always done it. She used to sneak it upstairs after handing over etc. She seems to think cause she's 16 it's unfair xx

 

[ahermit]

I agree with you 100%!

 

[tert]

You seem very certain on your decision and therefore have valid reasons for it, so I wouldn't say you need to take on board anyone else's viewpoint. You parent how you feel fit, you are not doing any harm to her having this rule set in place, quite the opposite and have her welfare in your best interest.

 

[sirtaxedalot]

I agree with you too. But it shouldn’t be about other peoples opinions. Your house, your rules.

 

[jsimm]

Your house your rules.

 

[andrewzones]

I agree with you. Your house your rules. Or put the internet on a timer clock.

 

[adrianaidan]

I have a 16yr old son, he's always had it in his room overnight and so has my 13yr old daughter. It's their responsibility, so if they stay up till 1am and tired the next day that's up to them.
I've never had to tell them and we've never had any problems.
At some point they have to be responsible for their actions. X

 

[showerscreens]

16 year old boy , phone taken away at night

 

[sciencerules]

My 16 year old has to keep her phone in the living room after 10pm, she has until September when she starts college to sit around on her phone. She still needs sleep though

 

[hannahjjesusfreak]

Personally, she’s now 16 and left school. It’s only another 2 years till she can go out and do as she pleases. I think being this strict with her is going to make her sneaky. I would say let her have her phone. But as others said, your house and your rules xxx

 

[donadorina]

My 16 year old only has his phone when he goes out he was banned from social media a while back after nearly getting into a dangerous position but he's really not bothered and I'm grateful for that.
We use Google family link to set limits and block apps
I get called too strict and that I'm cruel but I don't care I'm protecting my son x